There’s a time and a place for advocacy.

There’s also a time and a place for laughing people out of the room.

So if you ever hear these arguments used in a serious debate, don’t worry about formulating a serious response. It won’t be worth the effort.

1) Pepsi is a Zionist plot!

Did you know Pepsi stands for “Pay Every Penny to Save Israel“? I’m not making this up, and neither is the trustworthy source that is Hamas MP Salem Salamah.

2) Israeli melons exported to Arab country infected with AIDS!

In 2007 thousands of text messages warned citizens that a truck full of melons infected with AIDS was being sent to Saudi Arabia. The culprit? Israel, of course.

3) Spy birds and shark attacks!

Mossad have placed a deadly shark off the coast of Egypt in order to damage the tourism industry. “Israeli officials said the claims were too ludicrous to comment on.”

This July Turkish officials “detained” a kestral on suspicion of it being a spy for Israel. The Telegraph noted: “The incident shows the degree of paranoia and xenophobia regarding Israel that exists among large segments of Turkish society.”

4) Switzerland is a Jewish plot!

The entire nation of Switzerland is a Jewish plot. The reasoning is because the nation has steered clear of wars and remained neutral, this means the Jews must use the country as a “safe haven” where “wealth can be guarded against the wars they themselves [the Jews] spark.” That’s according to Fahd ‘Amr Al-Ahmadi – a columnist for a Saudi Arabian newspaper.

5) Israel distributes sexual chewing gum!

And finally, a Hamas police spokesman in the Gaza Strip has claimed Israeli intelligence operatives are attempting to “destroy” the young generation by distributing chewing gum that increases sexual desire. “The Israelis seek to destroy the Palestinians’ social infrastructure with these products and to hurt the young generation by distributing drugs and sex stimulants,” said Islam Shahwan.