Are you interested in my apartment? It is small, but lovely and with a great view overlooking the Mediterranean. However, I do have to warn you about the neighbor. He is mentally unstable and makes Jack the Ripper seem like Mother Theresa. He has a short fuse and regularly fires missiles and wields knives at us while shouting Allahu Akbar. He reads rather violent bedtime stories for his kids from a dark and old fairy tale named Mein Kampf. He teaches his kids that my family descends from apes and pigs and needs to be exterminated.

Every time I prevent him from attacking my wife and kids, he reports me for aggression and I am regularly condemned for the unrest in the building. There are boycott calls against my family. The board holds the opinion that if I give up half of my apartment, it will pacify my neighbor. Every time I invite my neighbor for a meal to bury the hatchet, he accuses me of stealing my own apartment from him although it was never his. Still interested? No, I did not think so either. Well, I actually happen to love my apartment so in the meantime, I will have to keep the doors and windows closed, arm myself and wait for the neighbor to be cured from his illness. You see, I was named after this apartment, which has been a property of my family for generations. My name is Israel.