4 1/2 years ago I went on a trip that changed my life.. I went to Israel with my shul. Sure I had been before on family trips, but I was younger then. When I arrived on that trip I felt it, home. Since then I have only had one thing on my mind, Aliyah. Those who have made aliyah will know the comments you get when you say thats your dream, and then again when you get older and people begin to realise your serious. Until the very day I was to arrive I was still getting these comments.
Since that trip I have been looking at the sky at the airplanes flying pass and wishing I was on one headed for Israel. Then came tour a year or so later. At the end I was in tears, everyone tried to say to me ‘you will see each other again soon’ thinking I was crying because it was over, but that wasn’t why… I was crying because I was leaving. That was the longest time I was in israel and it was like pulling me away from my home. I have never cried so much in my life. Since then Israel has been in my heart daily. The next few years were hard and I didn’t know what would come next…Somehow I managed to get to seminary. I had managed to succeed in a small dream of mine (seminary), and now my dream of aliyah was almost a reality. I had the amazing privilege to live in bet shemesh for the year in Tiferet. I met some amazing people and had a great time. I think people thought that I would end up changing my mind, but that wasn’t going to happen. Over the year my love of the land only grew. I got myself a place on sherut leumi and my plans were shaping up. I could hardly believe it but my dream was falling into place before my eyes. I was ready to leave sem knowing I would be back soon.
Then I got a call saying I might not have my sherut place anymore. I had to go home and pretend that all was ok. I didn’t want anyone to know that my plans were no longer solid. I did everything I could to find something new. Those who knew of my issue tried to help but I heard the sympathy in everyones voice when I told them the news… oh, what happened. It was a deep wow or oh that made things more real. It was a sigh that said, what will you do now. However I was not going to give up. I found a new plan, ulpan.
It was a difficult road to take, I waited a long time and almost lost hope. This was when I found the true meaning of the ‘light is always on the other side of the tunnel’ and that ‘its always darkest before the dawn’ I had almost given up hope when I finally heard I had got onto the kibbutz ulpan and my plans were once again set. It wasn’t the perfect option but its A option.
The next few weeks I looked at the sky and thought to myself, 3 weeks, 2 weeks etc. Then it came to the day. No longer was I looking at the sky for a plane to take me home, I was now starring at the exact plane that was going to fly me back. I was now going to be on that plane that someone down below would look at in hope like I had done for so many years. I was coming home.
Its funny that I am making aliyah in a time where rockets are flying down. There was a time when I was younger that I feared Israel because of the bombs and stuff that went on. I always had a part of Israel in my heart and wished to join anyone who went, but I was fearful. If you had told me then that I would be making aliyah during a ‘war’ I would have never believed you. Then again I can hardly believe I am here now.
I am now in my new room at the ulpan and although its a little different than what I expected, I am excited to be here and start my new life. Although I don’t know where my path will take me next, 1 thing I do know… I have been looking at planes for over 4 years, I have been dreaming for over 4 years of this exact moment, I AM HERE! I AM HOME!
I have no idea what is in store for me. I have no idea what Hashems plan is for me, but I have trust that ‘everything is for the best’. I dont know why I had to go through such a complicated path to get here, but what I do know for now is I am going to make my best effort to prove those who think I cant do it wrong… and to those who don’t think I can survive, who think I will end up going back, who think I am making a mistake…. I plan to prove you wrong! This is my ‘dream’… I plan on never ‘waking up’ from it!