April 1 headlines:

  • Obama Declared Israel’s Greatest Friend
  • Iran Agrees to Sell Off Nuclear Power Plant Parts and Donate the Proceeds to Jews Expelled from Arab countries in 1948
  • Egypt Officially Apologizes to the Israelites and Agrees to Pay Pitzuim (Compensation)
  • John Kerry Renounces His Iranian Son-in-Law and Demands His Daughter Be Given a Driver’s License in Saudi Arabia
  • Bibi Netanyahu Announces a New Coalition Based on Actual Skills…Bennet declared Foreign Minister. Bibi admits to having trouble finding places for remaining party leaders
  • God declares an extension for filing for Ready For Passover Kitchen Certification due to the rain
  • UN Issues resolutions condemning Syrian government
  • UN Human Rights Commission Dissolves Itself After Reviewing its Past Voting Record
  • Turkey sends Flotilla to Yemen
  • Israel’s Left-Leaning Parties Praise Israel’s Democracy
  • Micronesia Given Leading Role in Security Council

Passover cliches…feel free to join in any time…

  •  A rose by any other name would still smell better than the oven cleaner I just sprayed on the oven racks (that I’ll be putting away because I have Passover oven racks).
  • It’s always dirtiest before you clean.
  • Don’t air your dirty laundry in public…better to send it out to the laundromat.
  • Never forget that dust and dirt are the greatest evils known to Nisan (the Hebrew month, not the car).
  • “Absence makes the heart grow” fonder is not a good enough excuse to get out of Passover cleaning!
  • Passover is the time of our freedom…from everything but cleaning.
  • If Moses could see us now…he’d wonder if maybe he should have let the bread rise before they left
  • In bringing 10 plagues on Egypt and parting the sea for the Israelites, God was trying to teach us an important lesson…and as soon as I finish scrubbing my oven, fridge, counters and floors…right after I pack away enough dishes to make room for the Passover dishes and unpack them…and rinse them to dry…and finish the Passover shopping…and cooking for the Seder. Right then…I’ll try to figure out what that lesson was.

Once upon a time, in a far and distant land, the God of Israel blessed his people and brought them home…despite it being April 1, despite the work we do to clean our homes – ultimately, the holiday of Passover is not about what we do to prepare for it, but about the wonder of freedom, of living in the land God gave to us and one we have earned throughout history.