I have remained largely silent in recent months as Israel-Haters continue to hate-hate-hate.   Israel-defenders flood social media with their staunch defense of the Jewish State, and break indignant at the insinuation that Israel is ever wrong.  I giggle a little when someone posts on Facebook expressions of shock that the world seems unreasonably hostile to Jews,  Israel.

I don’t get it. A majority of the world has hated the Jewish people since creation and/or the Big Bang.    Ancient (and modern) Egyptians,  Babylonians, Greeks,  Romans, crusading Christians,  non-crusading Christians, Muslims, Spanish Inquisitors,  French, German, and Portuguese expellers,  Torah Burning Frenchmen, European Progromers,  British Massacres, Italian Ghettos, Nazis, Arabs, the KKK, the Congressional Black Caucus, Walt Disney, Henry Ford, Roger Waters.  If it’s beginning to sound like a Billy Joel song, there is a reason.  The list is never-ending.

Each of those Anti-Semites believed in their cause.  The Jews aren’t a mere annoyance.  They are the cause of everything wrong about the world.   In the old days, you could also count on some mitigating hatred of black, gays, gypsies, the physically or mentally challenged,  and any random minority who could be readily labeled as an enemy.     Not anymore.   As liberalism and political correctness have drastically reduced the list of targets, it’s much harder to find a good scapegoat for the problems of the world.

In some circles, it is even considered taboo to outwardly hate the Jews.  So, what is a closet anti-Semite to do?    Blame everything on Israel and explain that you don’t have a problem with the Jewish People – – just the policies of the Israeli Government.   Some of my best friends are Jews.

But, because the three categories are so similar and often indistinguishable, I have developed a quick test to help you decide whether you are:  (1) Anti-Semitic;  (2) Anti-Israel, or (3) Just an idiot.

Please answer the Following Questions (there are no right answers):

For the purposes of this test, “Terrorism” is defined exclusively as the intentional targeting of civilians and non-combatants for murder.

  1.  If you are a woman, would you rather live in Israel or Saudi Arabia (or any Muslim country)?
  2. If you are gay, would you rather live in Israel or Egypt  (or any Muslim country)?
  3. If you are a practicing Christian, would you rather live in Israel or in Iran (or any Muslin Country)?
  4. If you are a terrorist, would you rather live in Israel or in Syria (or any Muslim Country)?
  5. If you wanted to join an approved or, at least state facilitated, Terror organization, where would you have the best luck? Israel or Pakistan (or any Muslim country)?
  6. If you invented a high-tech product worth millions, would you rather live in Israel or in Afghanistan (or any Muslim Country)?
  7. If you wanted to start a successful business, would you rather live in Israel or in Yemen (or any Muslim Country)?
  8. Extra credit,  If you wanted to start a successful business, and you are a woman, homosexual, or minority, would you rather live in Israel or in Iraq (or any Muslim Country)?
  9. If you were a Jewish citizen of any Muslim Country, what would be your odds of becoming a Supreme Court Judge, High Army Commander, Miss-Universe representative, a member of the Parliament, owning your own land, openly practicing your religion, or starting as the captain of your national soccer team?
  10. If you were a Muslim citizen of Israel, what would be your odds of becoming a Supreme Court Judge, High Army Commander, Miss-Universe representative, a member of the Parliament, owning your own land, openly practicing your religion, or starting as the captain of your national soccer team?
  11. When I list these countries, what do you think of?   Afghanistan, Pakistan, Lebanon, Syria, Algeria, Bosnia, Somalia, Sudan, Iraq, Iran, Egypt, Croatia,  Yemen,  and Libya.

Please Choose 4 of the following answers:

  1. Hatred of America
  2. Sectarian violence
  3. Internal strife leading to (or close to) Civil War or open oppression
  4. Mayhem, War, and Death
  5. Woman’s rights
  6. High-Tech advancements and innovation
  7. Democracy
  8. Freedom of press, religion, and speech

12. When I list this Country, what do you think of?   Israel

Please Choose 4 of the following answers:

  1. Hatred of America
  2. Sectarian violence
  3. Internal strife leading to (or close to) Civil War or open oppression
  4. Mayhem, War, and Death
  5. Woman’s rights
  6. High-Tech advancements and innovation
  7. Democracy
  8. Freedom of press, religion, and speech

13.  How many active Muslim terror organizations can you name?

Choose 4:   Al Qeada, Boku Harem, Hamas, Hezbollah, ISIS, ISIL,   al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigades,  Taliban, Islamic Jihad,  Muslim Brotherhood, Armed Islamic Group of Algeria,  Lybian Islamic Finghting Group,  P.L.F., P.F.L.P. , Izz ad-Din al-Qassam BrigadesHarakat-Ul-Mujahideen,  AlamiHarakat Sham al-IslamHezb-e Islami Gulbuddin; Ansar al-Sharia (Libya) Ansar al-Sharia (Tunisia)

14.   How many active Jewish terror organizations can you name?  Note:  If you named Israel, you either ignored the instructions above, or you are an Anti-Semite.

15.  What is the cause of terrorism targeting Jews in Israel/Palestine?

If you answered “because of the 1948 Creation of the State of Israel within Muslim Lands,” Proceed to Question 16.

16.  What about the terror attack in Tel Haithat killed 8 Jews (1920), or the Nebi Musa Riots that killed 5 Jews (1920) or the Jaffa Riots that killed 47 Jews (1921), or the Jerusalem Stabbing attack that killed 5 Jews (1921), or the Riots that killed 133 Jews (1929), or the Hebron Massacre that killed 67 Jews (1929) or the Sefad Massacre that killed 20 Jews (1929) or “Bloody Jaffa Day” that killed 9 Jews (1936) or the murder of a Jewish family of 4 (including 3 young children) (1937) or the murder of 5 Keren Kayemet workers (1937) or 6 Jews killed in Haifa (1938);  the Bombing in northern Palestine that killed 3 Jews (1938) or the Tiberius Pogroms that killed 19 Jews (1938)?  (just to name a few).

17.  What is the cause of terror acts targeting Jews in recent years?

If you answered “the occupation,” proceed to question 18.

18.  Is Gaza occupied by a single Jew?  If your answer is no, proceed to question 19.

19.  Where do 99% of all terror/missile attacks against Israeli citizens currently originate?

20.  What is the cause of Muslim terror activity outside Palestine?

If you answered:  Israeli occupation and the Palestinian conflict, proceed to Question 21.

21.  What group attacked the USS Cole and why?  The World Trade Center? The Charlie Hebdo offices? The Krudttonden Café in Denmark?  The Madrid train?  The train station in Russia?  Pan Am-Lockerbie?  The attack on Mecca killing 240 Muslim worshipers?  The Mumbai train?  Russian Theatre attack (killing 170 Russians)?  The massacres in Somalia, Rwanda, Croatia, and Sudan?

22.  Do you contend that the above attacks, all undertaken by Muslim groups, would not have happened if the Israeli-Palestinian conflict was resolved?

23. True or False:   The Jews control the media, the world’s finances, Hollywood, and the US Congress?  (Basically everything that impacts your life).   If you answered true, proceed to Question 23.

24.   How did they amass such power over everyone and everything?

25.  With respect to Iran’s nuclear program, do you advocate cutting a deal and hoping it prevents Iran from making good on its promise to annihilate Israel, or do you think Israel should do everything in its power, even if it insults the President of the United States, to prevent its own destruction?

26.    Speaking of which, what lesson did you learn, if any, when Israel was told that its withdrawal from Gaza would be the only way to stop terror attacks emanating from that territory and that everything would be fine.

27. How did that work out?

Ari Weisbrot’s Award-Winning and Internationally Acclaimed Blog can be found at ariweisbrot.com.