Being an insensitive jerk, for one.

For those of you who don’t know what I am talking about, it’s Bar’s new ad for glasses. I don’t want to link to the video to give the crap more airplay but it goes something like this.

Guy on subway fantasizes about Bar Refaeli pole dancing (and wearing glasses). He then puts on his new, cool specs and his vision clears and he sees the object of his desire is…a woman noticeably heavier than Bar.

Message: thin is beautiful, fat is ugly.

So not only has Bar Refaeli fat-shamed millions of women through this ridiculous ad (and convinced everyday Joe’s that they might have a chance with a supermodel) but she has perpetuated this idea that beauty is what is on the outside.

The message that the fashion industry, diet industry and fitness industry pummel into our heads 24-7.

And sure, millions of people will see this and say, this is the way the world is and nothing can be done about it, blah, blah, blah.

Well, I can do something about it.

I don’t have to listen.

I don’t have to let Bar Refaeli have power over me.

I don’t have to let her or anyone else define what’s beautiful.

After all, she’s a supermodel, living a life of privilege, what does she know about real women?

In the end, beauty is just a head game we play with ourselves. The fashion industry takes advantage of our insecurities as women and uses our own insecurity and our constant need for reassurance to sell us lots of stuff that we don’t need and to define what is beautiful or not.

Well, I for one am not letting them. I am not letting supermodels or anyone else shame me, because putting out ads like this is the farthest possible thing from beautiful.

It’s ugly.

People talk all the time about how society’s ideas of beauty are wrong and how we need to embrace what true beauty is. There is a way to do that.

To stop letting people like Bar Refaeli and the fashion industry define the terms of beauty. To get a little self esteem and be confident in our own choices.