Donald Trump has suggested customers should begin boycotting Starbucks because the company's traditional red holiday cups don't have any Christmassy decorations.
"Did you read about Starbucks? No more Merry Christmas on Starbucks," the bloviating billionaire told a rally in Springfield, Illinois, this week.
Trump, who is trying to attract evangelical support, threatened to retaliate by ending the lease of a Godless Starbucks in one of his buildings because he was so offended. Maybe he just wasn't paying attention.
The only thing on the red cup is the company's famous green logo. Get it, Donald? Green and red?
"If I become president [ed.: G-d Forbid], we're all going to be saying, 'Merry Christmas' again. That I can tell you," Trump announced. He did not say whether that extends to his daughter, who converted to Orthodox Judaism in 2009, or her children and husband, Jared Kushner, who presumably celebrate Chanukah at this time of year and not Christmas.
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn what they put on the cups. I'm not a coffee drinker. but if I were I'd have a special bias for Dunkin' Donuts since it began putting my wife's name on its everyday cups for this holiday season: Joy. And why not? She's Jewish, so was Jesus.
"Best part of being Jewish?" mused my friend Brian Kupersmit on his Facebook page. "I really don't give a crap about the Starbucks Christmas cups you goyim seem to like discussing."