love

“We should love, not fall in love, because everything that falls gets broken.”  Wise words from Miss Taylor Swift. Pretty accurate in my eyes to be honest.

While I am not someone who ‘falls’ for someone quite easily, there are those that do. I have a friend that can meet a guy and totally be into him after the first date. Is she letting her guard down too early on or am I someone who has my walls up too high so early on?

Recently I met a guy. I had this insane, strange (but amazing) connection with him from the get go. We had the best night together. We danced all night; we were taking shots together, kissing passionately and having such fun. We had so much in common even down to the fact we both used to pour extra salt (and vinegar) onto our plain flavored crisps. Like who even does that? Have I found a guy as oddly insane and fun like me? Could I really fall for this guy? I actually thought so. We met up again another time and again, the connection still strong. He felt the connection too but knew it could be something and sadly pussied out. Men hey!

We are such cuckoos when it comes to love. When you think of love, what do you think of? I think of Bridget Jones, depressing songs and picnics in the park – a mix of things and that is because love is confusing and complicated. It asks us to really understand our own feelings which can be terrifying.

But as much as love and being in love is a feeling that takes you over, mind, body and soul and it is a wonderful feeling of course, but when you get that, “this is the one” feeling, is it right to limit yourself to thinking that?

Is there really such a thing as “the one” or is this a myth, something we have made up and come to believe? In my opinion, when you think of someone like that, there is so much pressure to maintain this relationship. Maybe, there is more than just ‘one’ person out there for us all. I am not saying to go out and live in a polygamous family or seek multiple partners but when such pressure is put on a person and relationship, you come to believe that said person is perfect all round. If you think this, you will be sorely disappointed when you find out they’re not.

If you are looking for love, stop it. Why do I say this? I will tell you. When you are looking for someone, with all the qualities you want in a partner, you will not find them. You might meet someone who has some of the qualities you desire and in your mind you will make yourself believe they are the one but what you are really doing is called ‘settling’ my friends. The key is not to settle.

Had I have ‘settled’ I could be married, living in a nice house with two kids by now and maybe even divorced already. But this is not what I want and it is not what I want for any of you.

So be patient, be you and wait for someone who completes you and makes you feel like a better version of you. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve!