Jihadist: a man born into wanderlust who tries to grow roots by planting weeds; death’s freedom fighter” – Bauvard

Dear Jihadi,

Although we have never met in person I have studied about you in some of my classes.  I have learnt the most about you in my “religion conflict and conflict resolution” class, where my professor taught me that despite your despicable reputation Jihad doesn’t always necessarily mean the slaughtering of infidels.

As a matter of fact I read that in religious contexts jihad is conceptualized as the ‘struggle in the way of Allah.’ It is to my understanding that there are several types of jihad, against different entities, however two broader categories co-exist. A ‘greater’ jihad, seen as an internal struggle within the believer in his quest toward religious fulfillment (a sort of spiritual battle against evil and temptation); and a ‘lesser jihad’, a physical, outward struggle against Islam’s ‘enemies’- the hypocrites, and the disbelievers.

I am speaking to you Jihadi of the second inclination. I must emphasize that while I know you are the minority, you scare the frikken daylights out of me!!

Although I don’t consider myself an enemy of Islam, I guess in your eyes I might be. Maybe it’s because I am a woman, maybe it’s because I am Westernized, maybe it’s because I am secular. Maybe it’s because I’m a Jew- sorry in your words ‘a descendent of apes and pigs’. Perhaps I am an enemy because I am a Zionist, although I very much believe in the need for a Palestinian state and adhere to the non-expansionistic type of Zionism if you catch my drift.

I am so angry with you, so tired of your vile rockets and international holy wars. For example, your highjacking of the Palestinian cause has brought nothing but trouble for Israelis and Palestinians alike. I’m not saying the Israeli government is innocent, I think after more than 70 years of fighting talking about totally innocent sides is superfluous. But you single-handedly chocked the hope for peace of many, when you took over Gaza and threw your supposed ‘brothers’ out of the windows of six-story buildings. Gaza could have become so much more without you, it could have been the first step in the right direction…

Instead to prevent you from coming in a blockade was put in place. You slaughter and drag around the bodies of people that disagree with you- sorry in your words ‘spies’. You take aid money and use it to build tunnels and buy yourself more rockets, rather than building infrastructure, improving education, and helping the people you are supposed to represent.  I am repeatedly called naïve when I express the wish for the West Bank and Gaza becoming Palestine and I hope you know it’s mostly because of you. We all know exactly what ‘from the river to the sea’ implies; personally it sends shivers down my spine.

You are wicked in your every form and color. Internationally speaking I am appalled by your daily appearance on the news, driving planes through buildings, of your suicide bombings, of your slaughtering of journalists and minorities… Beheading everyone that disagrees with you, or dares to have a different belief. You are so obtuse it is actually kind of annoying. Who ever told you that one religion needed to take over the world? Maybe the world is quite happy with their own religions, or lack thereof… There is an Italian idiom “il mondo è bello perchè è vario” (the world is beautiful because it is diverse), what a refreshing change it would be to hear you adopting this mantra.

By the way, I also know all about the practice of ‘taqiyya’, the admissible form of lying to further your cause. I have seen you do it too often to think it is just a paranoid myth. This is why I find your conspiracy theories hilarious in a bad way. However, I must congratulate you on your ability to spread them around, I have argued with more than one fool that gobbled them up without salt.

Lastly, your constant whining is so childish. You whine about America, Israel, the West, the Zionists, you even whine about democracy. It really lacks any kind of balanced introspection. We get it, you didn’t appreciate the intrusion in your private affairs, that’s understandable, acceptable even. What is totally and completely unacceptable is that you use this as legitimation for your desire to annihilate your enemies, for your wish to try and destroy (slash take over) the world. Did your mom never teach you that two wrongs don’t make a right?

How do you know for certain that this is what Allah wants, is it because someone told you so? Did you ever wonder what kind of person would tell you it is okay to kill babies and innocents when you strap your vest on?

Or more importantly did you ever wonder why the person that is trying to convince you to go kill yourself- sorry in your words ‘martyr’ yourself- is sitting quite comfortably in luxurious homes and very much not killing himself.

Basically you are giving your religion a bad name, which is just so sad because you represent the screeching minority. Truthfully I wish you would just grow up already, the 21st century may be far from perfect but it sure as hell beats you.

Yours most cordially, an angry dove.