Comments on: Dear Son: Your wedding is really none of your business.

By: Tehillah Hessler

Tehillah Hessler — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 09:02:16 +0000

I couldn't have said this better myself – which is why I'm saving it to share with my son in a few years

By: Tehillah Hessler

Tehillah Hessler — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 09:02:16 +0000

I couldn't have said this better myself – which is why I'm saving it to share with my son in a few years

By: Karen Godwin Harrison

Karen Godwin Harrison — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 20:08:57 +0000

As a mother of 2 Jewish sons I hope they never marry a girl who is so selfish as not to include him in his wedding plans. If she doesn't will have a future mother-in-law from hell.

By: Karen Godwin Harrison

Karen Godwin Harrison — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 20:08:57 +0000

As a mother of 2 Jewish sons I hope they never marry a girl who is so selfish as not to include him in his wedding plans. If she doesn't will have a future mother-in-law from hell.

By: Josh Gross

Josh Gross — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:53:09 +0000

The "I know people who…." argument is illogical, small-minded and self-absorbed. The world, and even your own local environs, does not consist merely of people you know.

By: Bracha Kurtzer

Bracha Kurtzer — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:49:29 +0000

Your boys might not think about their weddings, but to ACTIVELY tell them its not their place to is chutzpahdic, not to mention completely out of line with Jewish thought, where men and women build the home (symbolized in a wedding) TOGETHER. Its great that you imagined your wedding since a young age – just remember that not EVERYONE is like that, so to discourage their future husbands from being involved is ludicrous. You may think it is an "idiotic fight", and you are right along with all the others who think fighting female stereotypes is "idiotic." Shame you could not see that female or not, the "advice" this "beautiful female writer" is giving is completely unwarranted, an sexist. I am happy she, her sons, and daughters-in-law had wonderful weddings, but her experience is HER OWN – and should not be applied to the wide world of those getting married,to those brides AND grooms who want to be involved. Your comments are just small-minded.

By: רותי איסטמן

רותי איסטמן — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 12:40:49 +0000

B"H, I think both, Nettie. My dear DIL has enjoyed the dream dress and the party, and is now plunging ahead with her career. If she does that as well as she did the wedding, that girl will be quite successful!

By: Varda Epstein

Varda Epstein — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 12:35:14 +0000

I'm a woman and a mother of 8 sons. I remember waking up the night of my wedding, and going to sit in a chair by the window of our hotel suite to have a good cry: I was no longer a bride. My new husband awoke and came to sit beside me. He said, "You will always be my bride."

My boys never think about their weddings. I always thought about my future wedding, from the time I was a little girl until I got married.

I'm also a career woman who cares a great deal about my professional success. I put my all into my work. But my nature as a woman is bound to be different than the nature of a man.

I don't care much that you think this is a stereotype you must fight. Seems like an idiotic fight to me. I see nothing wrong with being different than a man and caring about different things.

The main things for a husband and wife are sharing the same values and goals, and not the party itself. But most girls do dream about this stuff and that is a perfectly natural dream.

Shame on you for trashing this beautiful female writer who let us have an intimate glimpse of her lovely and perfectly normal family. So what if they are different from you. Your comments are just ugly.

By: Shira B-stein

Shira B-stein — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 12:10:56 +0000

Oy… She is not right.

By: זאק רובינשטיין

זאק רובינשטיין — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 10:28:49 +0000

YEA! Shrimp cocktail and champagne at my wedding (classy) and we want beer with our BBQ!

By: Ruth Lakin

Ruth Lakin — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 10:28:32 +0000

she brings shame to the name Ruth. Additionally, so glad she isn't my mother or mother-in-law to be!

By: Anna Pomson

Anna Pomson — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 10:10:28 +0000

i dont think its only that part she's nuts about…

By: Bracha Kurtzer

Bracha Kurtzer — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 09:34:59 +0000

As a bride, and a decent human being, I have to express my utter shock and disgust at this article. A wedding is only a party for two people – the bride and her mother? What is this, down south in the US, and this is some sort of uberly strange form of incest? By definition, the wedding is a celebration merging two people – the bride and groom. Then you go on to discuss how most girls plan their weddings from when they are little, and guys just want a beach BBQ. Beyond this being shockingly sexist, it is also quite untrue! I, along with many of my recently engaged friends, have not been dreaming about the details since we were six. We want a nice wedding! And, for your information, so do our grooms! I know plenty of grooms who wanted to be and were involved with the wedding vision. A wedding should be the first instance in a marriage when the new bride and groom work TOGETHER to create a moment they both can enjoy – no party should hijack it because of some peculiar wedding-industry complex. You should be encouraging your sons to STEP UP, give their opinions, compromise, and really be part of the simcha – and their marriages. If you have any more sons, or future sons-in-law, I deeply hope you do not peddle this nonsense to them, and encourage them to participate as much as the bride.

By: Bracha Kurtzer

Bracha Kurtzer — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 09:34:59 +0000

By: Bracha Kurtzer

Bracha Kurtzer — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 09:30:38 +0000

As a bride, and a decent human being, I have to express my utter shock and disgust at this article. Your opening paragraph should have prevented me from reading the rest, but I was so sucked in by the madness I couldn't stop. A wedding is only a party for two people – the bride and her mother? What is this, down south in the US, and this is some sort of uberly strange form of incest? By definition, the wedding is a celebration merging two people – the bride and groom. Then you go on to discuss how most girls plan their weddings from when they are little, and guys just want a beach BBQ. Beyond this being shockingly sexist, it is also quite untrue! I, along with many of my recently engaged friends, have not been dreaming about the details since we were six. We want a nice wedding! And, for your information, so do our grooms! I know plenty of grooms who wanted to and were involved with the wedding vision. A wedding should be the first instance in a marriage when the new bride and groom work TOGETHER to create a moment they both can enjoy – no party should hijack it because of some peculiar wedding-industry complex. You should be encouraging your sons to STEP UP, give their opinions, compromise, and really be part of the simcha – and their marriages. If you have any more sons, or future sons-in-law, I deeply hope you do not peddle this nonsense to them, and encourage them to participate as much as the bride.