I don’t really know how to feel these days.
Everything has become such a mess, there is an actual war outside, young kids- kids  MY age are dying at the battlefield, my heart is crying for every soldier who gets killed.
You try to keep things normal, to change subject every time your friends start talking about the war and how many soldiers got killed today- but you just can’t. Every other subject seems stupid and inappropriate.

Honestly, I wanted to start talking fashion today. I wanted to talk about the trends which are dominant this summer, about taking the most out of your wardrobe, about how much I love the fact that I am a fashion girl and have tons of everything. Shoes, dresses, tops, bags, accessorize.
But talking about these subjects seems like such a utopia right now. It seems like such a minor thing these days that is almost pathetic to say this out loud.

Two of my best friends have boyfriends inside of Gaza. Inside of hell, living hell. The place we all wish was not existed at all. But it is. And we have a mission to finish before we withdraw.
Up until now, 32 of our dearest boys have been killed in Gaza. 32 precious souls who were just about to start their lives, but died in the middle of their blooming years.
I pray, each day, for the sake of my friends’ boyfriends, and for the sake of all of the others who put themselves at risk, and fight for us, so we could live quietly and have a normal reality in our safe zones.

The thing which hurts me more than anything, is the fact that there are demonstrations against us, everywhere. London, France, Sweden, even Australia. I feel like the justice which rules the world is betraying us.  I feel so dissappointed by the people of the world.
I want to scream to the world- we are the victims here! We are bombed and therefore running to shelters too many times a day! They want us dead; they want to kill us all! But I can’t. I can’t because no one would listen. Because somehow, the truth is unseen- or the rest of the universe chooses not to see it. They see us as the monsters we are not, as the devils we will never be. Our army is informing the citizens to leave their houses before they’re bombing them. The Hamas in respond keep firing rockets on us.
The world is crazy. I feel like everyone has lost it. I feel like something bad is going on, like a terrible vibe is surrounding us.

Yes, I do want, so deeply that everything will be over already. I do want soldiers to be back at their homes and not dying anymore.
But I also want quiet. Peace. I want that the citizens of my country, that Am Israel will be able to go to sleep at night without worrying that a terrorist would come out of their floor and murder them.

I wish next week I will be able to start writing about the stuff that interesting me. About the fun parts in life, the parts that make you smile and relax.
The stupid, meaningless little things which make us all breath normally.