Israeli Police in Action. Photo credit: Wikmedia

 

A terror attack was reported in Jerusalem: a terrorist opened fire at a crowded bus stop from within a moving car.

For a moment, there was the ringing silence of panic.

15 minutes later, the Israeli police force leapt into action.

Emergency call center responders frantically answered phones with “Thanks for calling, please hold”, and then hung up.

Police cars raced frantically around and around traffic circles with their sirens blaring.

Special forces units with sky masks on their faces ran through the underbrush firing automatic machine guns at trees and rocks.

The mounted motorcycle unit sped up and down Jaffa Street at great speed, popping wheelies.

Police helicopters hovered overhead and reported that “people look like ants from up here”.

The police spokesperson got on TV and refused to provide details on what everybody already knew.

The highest levels of police command gathered together in a conference room gulping at emergency oversized coffee cups and banging their firsts on the table.

The response was comprehensive and dramatic.

Suddenly, the attacking vehicle resurfaced at another part of the city and attempted to ram into some civilians.

The police raised their responsiveness to defcon 12.

The call centers dropped their “thank you”, and went straight for “calling, please hold”.

The police cars at the traffic circles reversed their direction and began racing counterclockwise at an even greater speed.

The special forces stopped firing at trees and rocks and started firing at clouds.

The mounted motorcycle units started executing increasingly complex stunts.

The police helicopters flew even higher into the air to get a more comprehensive view of the city.

The spokesperson had a panic attack on live TV and assured everyone that everything was fine.

And the highest level of police command left the conference room to sexually harass some police women.

Meanwhile, some civilians with private handguns shot the terrorists dead, and were arrested for using excessive force.

Peace was restored at last.