The European Union is gravely concerned about France’s escalation of aggression against the Islamic State. Over the past 24 hours, France has launched massive airstrikes on the densely populated capital of Al-Raqqa.

The French aggression follows a series of ISIS shooting incidents in Paris; eight Muslim suspects were summarily executed by French security forces without detention or trial.

We strongly condemn French bombardment of metropolitan areas in the Islamic State, the disproportionate use of force by the French army and the humanitarian crisis it has aggravated. Particularly unhelpful is rhetoric from the French President, who promised “to lead a war which will be pitiless” against the Islamic State.

As the stronger party with a nuclear-armed, world-class military, France must refrain from actions which create further difficulties for a lasting peace.

In light of the above, the EU calls for three steps to be taken immediately

  1. Immediate cessation of hostilities on all sides
  2. France and ISIS must begin negotiations
  3. Grievances of both ISIS and France in this conflict must be addressed

This tragic escalation of hostilities confirms the unsustainable nature of the status quo with regard to the ongoing French insults against the Prophet and occupation of Islamic territory.

The EU believes that the events of the past few days reinforce the need for France and Islamic State to work together to fight all forms of terror and insult. The only way to resolve the conflict is through an agreement that ends the French occupation of Muslim territories in Europe, the Middle East and North Africa and that fulfills the aspirations of both parties.

Note: This is satire. Many of the EU statements above are used verbatim against Israel when Israel practices self-defense against Hamas, Hezbollah, Islamic Jihad and other terrorist groups. Terrorist groups who likewise target Israeli civilians in nightclubs, restaurants and cafes.