Frum or Not Frum: That is the Shaylah
This excerpt is from the Frum Guide (another book to be put out over the next couple of years- frum being Jewish religious in Yiddish)
List of things that make you frum or not frum- study this list and learn what it means, so that you can fit in (the inspiration for this piece is Lenny Bruce’s Jewish/not Jewish rant- it got me thinking what might make somebody frum or not frum):

Jeans- not frum, slacks- frum, short hair on a guy- not frum, short hair on a woman- frum, hair on a woman- frum- but only if it is not yours, short hair on top but long on the sides- frum, playing sports- not frum, playing sports in pants- frum, playing machanaim or dodgeball- frum- only if the woman is wearing a skirt, summer camp- frum, co-ed summer camp- not frum, skiing- not frum, eating- very frum, fasting- not frum, fasting and then eating all three meals right at nightfall- together- frum, talking- frum, woman talking to man- not frum, Rochester NY- not frum, Brooklyn NY- frum, pizza- frum, pasta- not frum, falfel- not frum, choolante- frum, herring- very frum, gefillte fish- frum, sushi- not frum, fast food- not frum, deep fried food- frum, bar mitzvah- not frum, bat mitzvah- very not frum, getting married at your bat mitzvah- frum, king size bed- not frum, 2 beds which could equal a king size bed- frum, refrigerator with a light that works- not frum, crock-pot- relatively frum, hot-plate- frum, computer- not frum, watching movies on a computer- frum, car- not frum, walking- frum, shirt- frum, shirt with colors- not frum, studying Torah- frum, studying literature- not frum, sheitels- frum, toupee- not frum, snoot- frum, beret or bandanna- not frum, trips- not frum, visiting family for simcha- frum, fluorescent lights- not frum, candelabra- frum, hat- not frum, black hat- frum, shopping- not frum, going to the Dollar Store or any store that has a lot of items that sell for a dollar or less- frum, tin pans- frum, cleaning- not frum, cleaning for Pesach- frum, Yeshiva- frum, Seminary- not frum, voting- not frum, complaining about the president or prime minister- frum, board games- not frum, board games on Shabbat- frum, music- not frum, music to lyrics from King David- frum, living in Israel- not frum, visiting Israel and staying at the King David for Sukkot- frum, davening (praying) at the Kotel- not frum, davening at shteibel- frum, goatee- not frum, beard- frum, eating food that was just cooked- not frum, eating leftovers- frum, Bnei Brak- frum status, hiking- not frum, survival skills- not frum, sleeping in a bed- frum, camping- not frum, tents- not frum, tent of meeting- not frum, Beis Hamedrash- frum, hiking in long slacks and a white shirt- frum, heavy-frum, working out- not frum, eating- frum, organic- not frum, vacation- depends, house- not frum, bungalows- frum, motel- frum, hotel- not frum, Mordechai Ben David- frum, Chaim David- not frum, Simon & Garfunkel- frum, plastic dishware- frum, dishes- not frum, 3 sets of fine china for 15 people- very frum, salad- not frum, vegetables ground up and mixed with oil- frum, potato kugel- very frum, singing- frum, musical talent- not frum, wraps of sorts- frumish now, fish in wraps- not frum, deli- frum, quiche- not frum, chicken- frum, non-fatty steak- not frum, flanken- frum, Coke- not frum, Price Chopper on bottle- frum, half a liter- not frum, 3 liters- frum, vegetables- not frum, vegetables in soup- frum, foods an average person from Britain or America can pronounce- not frum, foods a Hungarian can pronounce- frum, eating- frum, drinking- not frum, drinking with your family and underage child at the table- frum, Borscht and Shav- frum, sorrel leaves- not frum, strawberry soup- not frum, fruit- not frum, refreshing- not frum, filling- frum, sorbet with preservatives- frum, diet- not frum, healthy living- not frum, complaining- frum, Galus- frum, Redemption- not frum, non-Jews- not frum, goyim- frum, saving a life- not frum, pikooach nefesh- frum, dentures- frum, fruit salad- not frum, Chagim- not frum, Yom Toyvim- frum, Shabat Shalom- not frum, Good Shabbos- maybe frum if you are talking to a non-Jew, Gut Shabbis- frum, Catskills- frum, Pocanos- frum, Mountains- frum, LA- not frum, Flordia- frum, London- not frum, South Africa- not frum, Antwerp- frum, Golders Green- frum, Israel- not frum, Toronto- frum, Montreal- not frum, Dirty Dancing- not frum, Patrick Swazy with long-sleave shirt- frum, kosher- not frum, Glatt dairy- frum, marriage at 30- not frum, marriage at 17- frum, shadchan- frum, dating site- not frum, SawYouatSinai dating site through a matchmaker- matchmakers not frum, frum, dancing men with men- frum, dancing man with a woman- not frum, man dancing with woman and a handkerchief- frum, soap- not frum, mikveh- frum, sponge cake- frum, tasty dessert- not frum, owning a home- not frum, real estate- frum…