Not many people have a difficulty admitting that in general mothers are better parents than fathers. While it’s not a competition (and often, two parents may complete each other), many have noticed that fathers may be important but who could grow up without a mother? (I’m not trashing fathers, being one myself and not even denying that many times a father may be as good or even better than the mother. Still, on average, my idea stands, I think.)
To mind comes this spooky cure-the-gay publicist who wanted to prove that a mixed-sex pair of parents must be the best. To his chagrin he found that the single women in his study had been better parents. His “explanation”? They had used better sperm as sperm banks select. This is so laughable that we can conclude that the old norms need to die.
Science has shown (and I’m sure many of us have found) that homosexuals overall simply have more empathy than heterosexuals; more empathy with men, women, children and with animals). Is there anything more important in parenting than empathy? However, when it comes to homosexual and heterosexual parents, for many people the former still need to justify and prove themselves. No need. Homosexual parents are the best!
Half a dozen reports have appeared in the last 24 hours about the Israeli government wanting to continue the baseless, heartless and cruel discrimination of homosexual adoptive parents, though I found the TOI reporting the best.
Hold on to your seats
I want to add an argument to the discussion about gay adoptions and parenting in general, that I haven’t seen anywhere yet. Hold on to your seats – it might be hard to admit – and to deny.
Let me first say that there is nothing wrong with being heterosexual, a man, white, a Gentile or a member of any other privileged group. Being over-privileged however, comes with a responsibility to help promote and spread fairness and equality.
Here’s my argument for gay parenting. Gay parents typically inflict less incest. GLBTQ people still have many open and covert enemies. Even one case of same-sex family sexual abuse of children would create a world-wide storm, but such reports are almost non-existent (I found one that is clearly bogus). Every psychotherapist knows that sexual violence inside families, especially targeting children, is rampant (only not in your family). We can simply and safely conclude that homosexuals are the best-protecting parents by far!
In case you do not like to read that gay parents on average are better, may I only ask if you have the same problem with a claim that mothers generally are the better parents?
Not only are homosexual parents not more suspect to molest (still a popular Israeli prejudice), not only are they equally capable – they are better.
Withholding adoption options (and teaching jobs) from them is cruel and stupid. And to do this to Jewish gay men (most lesbians do not need adoptions) is even more nasty, given the importance in Judaism of being a link in the chain of generations. Yet no heterosexual can claim: What can we do – we do not have enough empathy to feel for them. Millions of straight allies are showing already that gay oppression can be opposed by them successfully and in great numbers.