I have always known what a true southern momma is like. I have watched many matriarchs throughout all the years of living in Kentucky and southern Alabama.  A good southern momma knows where her children are, what they are doing, what they are wearing, texting, Facebook-ing, eating, and who they are talking to at any given moment.  We tend to make sure our offspring color coordinate, have clean faces, say yes and no ‘mam and sir, hats off at the table and hold the door for others.  I take great pride when persons tell me how polite my children are.   Add southern culture to Jewish Yenta traits in addition to my age and I well may be in need of an intervention.

As I get older it’s getting harder to control myself.  I know there are good Yentas and, well, bad Yentas.  I think I am on the fence just waiting to be blown one direction or the other.  Keeping up with my children’s school work, what is due when and where their grades stand comes under the good Yenta column.  Making sure their work is in a color coded labeled file folder may put a check in the bad Yenta column.

My southern Yenta ways are extending to my kids’ friends as well.  I can’t seem to control myself when it comes to knowing who is dating whom or wants to date but is too shy to talk to the cute one with brown eyes or he is dating someone else unless it is a full moon on the third Friday of a month with four Mondays and it is a day two at Sherando.  I am on the waiting list to chaperone at my son’s senior prom.  Maybe we can color coordinate? However, that may push me permanently into the bad Yenta column.

The problem with being a nosey southern momma is that the older I get the older my children get. They need my input less and less.  Or more accurately, they want it less and less!  Liberating my offspring from my obsessive desire to protect and quite frankly nag them into good grades, wise dating choices and eating Kosher has become my New Year’s resolution. And, I have already posted on my dislike of New Year’s resolutions.

So, today, I, Kitty Crosby do hereby kind of promise to sort of try to be a little less of a busy body in the school and personal affairs of my children.  I will not post love notes and reminders on your Facebook (everyday).  I will not say anything when you eat triple bacon burgers, but I can’t guarantee not to laugh when they give you a stomach ache.  I will wake you for school if you over sleep but pretend I didn’t wake you on purpose. I will only text you at school when it is really, really important.

Just know I nag because it is cultural, genetic, and yes…a bit of a hobby. Know that I will be there for you always to point out when you too, turn into a Yenta.   Love, your (hopefully good Yenta)  Momma