Twenty Six year old Lisa Goffman of Cleveland Ohio, a staunch Jewish feminist, was recently found to be completely happy. Most early reports were rumored that she “smiled every once in a while”, but after a battery of tests were applied Lisa passed with flying colors. Dr. Marsha Weinblatt, a PHD in Neuroscience of the University of Chicago confirmed the results. “When it was reported that Lisa was a Jewish feminist, but also happy, we had to of course confirm if she was a feminist in the first place, as most know Jewish Feminism and happiness do not normally go together.”
A thorough background check of Lisa showed not only a strong attendance in Jewish summer camps, but also while attending a Jewish high school, consistent choices to choose women of the Bible for writing assignments. While in college, Lisa majored in Women’s Studies and headed up the “Jewish Right to Choose and No Means No!” committee. She has been actively involved in Jewish women’s rights since her graduation as well. What makes Lisa unique though, is that she is very happy and fun to hang out with. Her friend Brad Marcus had this to say. “I mean come on, how often do you hear, ‘Hey you know that girl, the Jewish feminist? Oh my God! She’s soooo nice!’ Doesn’t happen right? I mean most of ‘em are just angry, but not with Lisa. She’s super sweet, down to earth, but not in a granola way, and leaves the Ra Ra stuff at the office.” Lisa has a boyfriend (who has chosen to stay anonymous for obvious reasons) and a good job as a financial analyst.
Dr. Weinblatt gave Lisa a battery of tests including a polygraph, and took blood and urine samples as well. “At first I thought she was on some sort of anti depressant. When I brought up Women of the Wall, her pulse rate did not increase however, and she generally did not seem angry with all men. It was very unique.” When asked about her happiness, Lisa simply responded, “Sure I’m for women’s issues, but I’m not angry that men are in positions of power. It’s going to happen right? Let’s just make sure we are all treated fairly. I believe in Tikkun Olam and… Oh my God! I love your earrings!”
To date, Lisa is one of the few if only happy Jewish feminists in North America. Dr. Weinblatt however, is hopeful she will find more. Rumors have floated that there is one in Australia but those reports have been unsubstantiated.