OK, that’s it. I’m tearing up my Feminist Alliance of IsraeL (FAIL) membership card, taking down my Rosie the Riveter poster, and putting my bra back on. No more fighting against sexist portraiture of women in society and the media, no more demanding equality and respect. Nope. From now on, I’m fighting for the rights of men. I’m an hommenist.

What is an hommenist, you ask? What are the tenets of hommenism? Let me enlighten you.

How many times have we come across misandrous stereotyping like, “Men are animals,” and “Men can’t control themselves.” Hommenism (from the French homme, meaning “man”) fights against a sexist portrayal of men in society and the media. We’ve been brainwashed to believe, and continue to promulgate, the idea that men have no moral compass when it comes to sexuality, and should they catch sight of female flesh, there’s no telling what could happen. How sexist! Can you imagine if the same thing were said about women? There would be a public outcry from feminists across the globe! How insulting to insinuate that men are controlled by their animal instincts, accompanied by the insistence that women are somehow “higher beings.”

Hommenism advocates for the acceptance of all types of men—short, tall, skinny, overweight, intellectual, athletic, straight, or gay—as men. Not just the ones that conform to the societal expectation of what men are supposed to look like, or act like. As an hommenist, I find these narrow definitions of what constitutes masculinity—that one is only a “real man” if he is tall, muscular and wealthy—degrading, objectifying, and disrespectful and dismissive of all the great men who did not fit that stereotype, yet made life-altering contributions to the betterment of our society.

Hommenism is also an important part of creating a balanced and just community. Is it fair that men are oftentimes considered less capable as parents, and are therefore less likely to be awarded custody of their children in a divorce case? Such is the case, even in situations where it would be more beneficial for the children to be with their father. How can we simply disregard half the population as unfit for parenting? And it doesn’t end there. How many male kindergarten teachers do you know? Male receptionists? When was the last time you came across a male nurse in a doctor’s office? What is stopping us from accepting men as legitimate candidates for these occupations? We need to stop giving validity to these arbitrary gender roles and provide everyone equal opportunity to earn and achieve in whatever profession they choose.

So this is why I’ve decided to become an hommenist, and drop all that feminism crap. Feminists hate men. Feminists want a matriarchal society where men are second-class citizens. Feminists want to uproot the very foundations of human nature and force men to do menial household tasks, while women refuse to copulate and reproduce, because they’re too busy pursuing high-powered careers.

But hommenism…Well, hommenism is all about not making assumptions about people based on their gender. It’s about creating equal footing and equal opportunity in the workplace for all. It’s about respecting people of all shapes, sizes, colors and cultures. And that’s the sort of belief system I want to align myself with. So where do I sign up?

(Answer: With the feminists.)