I do not understand it. Words cannot describe the anguish, hatred, and fear I feel. My heart goes out to this family, to the mother and father who are once again childless, to the wife who must be holding on to that last strand of hope, and to the rest of the Jewish nation who have experienced this all too many times.

I feel anger bubbling up inside with no other way out but through tears. Sitting in a prison does not bring justice for what they’ve done. They will not change. They will not become better people. They do not deserve to live.

I am angry at the world, at the media who announce that an Israeli police officer shot an Arab. Not that the Arab was affiliated with Hamas, not that he killed an innocent baby, not that he is clearly a monster for choosing to run over civilians just because they’re Jewish. No, the world does not focus on that. The world does not care about that. We are alone.

I am scared. Out of everything that has happened this past week, after hearing death after death of those who did not have a chance to live, I can only turn to God. But God isn’t there. I cannot see Him, and I do not feel Him. I look up to the sky and I scream out “How can this possibly be Your plan?” But I do not receive an answer. How can I sustain my hope?

I have no answer. There is no answer. Life moves on. We will continue to trudge through this darkness, step after step. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll find a light at the end of this tunnel.