Today I found out I’m an a*****e. Earlier this week, I was joyed to see one of my best friends and his family at the Kotel, where one of his sons was being Bar Mitzvah. This was truly a joyous occasion, as I have not seen this family for years. As a result of the festivities, I also saw other mutual friends which I have not seen in a very long time either.
The Bar Mitzvah went beautifully, outside of the really loud Sephardim who tried to drown everyone out with their own particular noise. It’s not supposed to be a contest, fellas, calm down.
Anyway, after the festiveness, a person (we will call him BM) explained to me how I am an a*****e.
He explained through my radio shows, articles and posts on facebook I piss people off as I tend to insult a lot of people and make fun of things.
First of all, it is kind of ironic that a guy would call me an a*****e in such a blunt way, as that is a bit of an a****lish thing to do, but truth be told, BM would probably be the first to tell you he is an a*****e himself. I mean, he did tell the father of the Bar Mitzvah boy that he is “fat.” But you should know BM says that he said the insult with love.
Anyway, I actually took the insults to me to heart and thought them over, going through a serious meditation while watching youtube clips of the Big Bang Theory.
It is true I have mocked the Nachlaot community for worshipping a Rabbi (Rebbe Nachman) and taking his words out of context as an excuse to justify getting high and drunk all day, while feeling extra confident in their own stupidity.
It is true I have been critical of the Israeli government for their constancy in abusing their power and taxing its citizens too much, as well as being status quo and preventing further expansion of Israel’s economy and society.
It is true I have been critical of the Kiruv movement, as many times I tend to find it fake, and was particularly critical of a Kiruv organization for producing a well-known atheist. I was also critical of this well-known atheist for things he said on his radio show.
I have been critical of those in the media I tend to find ant-Semitic and anti-Israel (which includes other Jews) as they tend to spew the same propaganda over and over without coming up with an original thought.
I have been critical of an Israeli sports league for its corruption, mocked those involved in the corruption, as well as interviewing those who were victims of its corruption.
I also have been critical of American Jews for not showing enough interest in Israel, saying sending a check is not good enough as actually living here.
In other words, BM mispronounced the wrong word. He called me an a*****e but really he meant to call me H-O-N-E-S-T.
If you want fakeness, then you are welcome to go to other sources of media. Believe me, there are plenty of fake news sources for you to enjoy.
Although BM was wrong about his word pronunciation, he was right about one particular thing: He said all I did was mock certain things, but that I did not provide a solution.
Now, I didn’t realize it was my destiny to solve problems of this world and to find their solutions.
But then again, I am Ari Louis.
So the game plan is as follows: In the future, when I mock something I may sometimes find a solution to solve the problem. So either way I win. Either I will be listened to and the problem will be solved, or I will revel in my mocking and enjoy the ability to entertain myself and those in my inner circle.
So instead of being an a*****e who mocks things, I will be an arrogant a*****e who thinks he has the answers to the world’s problems and shares those answers with everybody.
But don’t be surprised if people take my ideas and try to pawn them off as their own.
Cheers to being even more arrogant than I thought I could be.
And to BM, the solution to you not calling people an a*****e is to be humble and to realize the Jets have not been to a Super Bowl in over 45 years because they suck.
I still love you, though..but I don’t love the Jets..again.. because they suck.
Ari Louis is the CEO of IsraelSportsandNewsRadio.
To find out more about him, please visit IsraelSportsandNewsRadio.com.