As your very best friend I would like you to know that if you ever get involved in a war, I won’t necessarily support you either.

Don’t be angry. It’s so intolerant to be angry just because I may not help you in your time of need. It’s almost as intolerant for being upset because I agree with the people who want to kill you. Why can’t you understand that I only agree with them because I want what’s best for you?

Oh and speaking of killing you: Remember those guys who recently threatened to murder you and your entire family because they say you stole their house?

Well, I would like you to know that I am buying them some guns.

Don’t look at me like that. It’s only fair. You also have a gun and I enjoy fair fights.

Have fun!