There’s a lot of debate about building attraction when it comes to dating. It used to be that when a guy thought a girl was hot, he wanted to go up and talk to her and when a girl thought a guy was hot, she wanted to date him. For some, it may still be this way and looks may be the first thing you pick up on, but if you’ve grown up and learned to see past the surface, you’ll be on the same page as me knowing that personality trumps looks any day.

If you want a little fling then of course you will want the hottest guy/girl around so you can brag to your friends. This is the 21st century don’t forget! It is all about social media and showing off. But, no matter how dazzling the display in front of you, there has to be something deeper if you don’t want just a fling and want to make a meaningful relationship.

According to a recent survey, 78% of guys would rather be in a relationship with someone who is smart and funny than “super-hot”. Everybody is different and has different tastes, but in my opinion, I think it’s a combination of the two that matters in a relationship.

You’re going to have to be attracted to them physically in order for the relationship to get off the ground but it is what you learn about the person along the way that counts the most.

I think what confuses a lot of people is the difference between the importance of a relationship lasting and the importance of a relationship starting. For sure it is easier to want to be in a relationship with someone who is hot vs who is a sweetheart. Looks are a surface feature—anybody can see how you look with just a glance. But making a relationship last, well that my darlings requires personality.

Things like common interest and the ability to make people laugh are what gets a relationship through the bad times and leads to good times. Looks aren’t going to make somebody forget an argument, but a good joke or a smile might.

You may want a Channing Tatum type because he is the arm candy everyone will be jealous of, but maybe a Jonah Hill type is the preferred because he will always make you feel good about yourself.

So, the moral of this topic is being true to you. Go for someone who you feel comfortable with, someone who makes you laugh and smile, someone you want to punch and kiss at the same time and someone who makes you feel like you are best person on this earth. Never settle for anything less than the special person you are!