different rules often apply to other groups, like israeli arabs; it isn't only chareidim. what shari arenson couldn't do in tel aviv (grab a little land), a stam bedouin can do 1000 times over in the negev.

maybe a what multicultural society is what is needed to allow all of israel's divergent groups to get along. however the beneficiaries don't want, or more correctly, refuse to apply the same rules that apply to them to others. admorim are allowed to perform weddings without having any certification from the rabbinate. there are endless stories about admorim "getting it wrong" under the chuppa. but when tzohar rabbis, trained in performing these ceremonies, try to get licenses, the chareidi controlled rabbinate kicks up a storm (not to mention non-orthodox streams).

if we want a multicultural society, so let's do it, with our eyes wide open about the possible dangers. if we don't, than the same rules need to apply to everyone, be it an 18 year old tel avivi, bnei braker, or ul al fahmick.

But as you suggest I live in a bubble, maybe the ones living in a bubble are the ones in Beit Shemesh. Not all Haredim are as you see them and as you live with them in Beit Shemesh. I have dozens of Haredi relatives who are very pro-Israel. No, they don't serve in the army but they do support the state. Am I happy that they don't serve? Absolutely not. But maybe you are so angry, perhaps justifiably so, at the way a small group of extremists have behaved that you reject all. There are so many that will make the claim that you can't reject all Palestinians because "a few extremists" blow up buses and yet aren't you rejecting the Haredi life, classifying it a a block when in fact there are many colors to that rainbow? Chabad are absolutely Haredi – and yet, they do serve. Breslev might be considered Haredi…my son-in-law is Haredi…he served his time and actually did more army time than Chesder boys do.

The large number of Haredi in my husbands family have never attempted to force their lifestyles on ANYONE and their attitude is that love and acceptance and tolerance are the best ways to promote their chosen lifestyles. We go to their simchas and they come to ours – they make an incredible effort to come to whatever we have because they want to share in our joys as families should.