So first, I want to welcome you all to my brand new blog. I’m super excited about this grand opportunity I was given, writing in such a respected platform.
Ever since I could remember, I was always jealous at Carrie Bradshaw. You might find it odd or ridiculous, and you might ask yourselves why I would be jealous of a fiction character on TV, but yes, I was. Guilty as charged. Carrie was everything I ever wanted to be. Living in the big apple, writing in her private diary, having the best job in the world- my dream job! Wearing whatever you wanted with the best style, without people judging.
But as I grew up, I realized that Carry is just like me. She, like me, has issues in her life, she has troubles with friends, lovers, and people in general to deal with.
She, like all of us, has tons of decisions to make.
Decisions. Such an annoying word. Basically, decisions are the factors which our lives are designed by.
You make a decision every minute of your life. When you wake up in the morning you decide what mask you are going to put on today- grumpy, happy, impatient, loving, understanding.
You stand in front of your wardrobe, in my case the night before, and you decide what your outfit is going to be tomorrow.
You decide what to study, which university to study in. You decide if you are going to continue going out with this guy or not, you decide whether to cut him out of your life or not.
Decisions, decisions, decisions. Everywhere you go, you need to make at least one.
Following the decision you make, whatever it might be, comes the regret.
According to a study I once came across, you regret or think you regret 90% of your decisions. That’s a HUGE number, and if you think about it, it’s really scary. How am I supposed to know what to choose, if most of the chances I’m going to regret it anyway?
As part of my degree studying, I had a course called “Communications and social psychology”, which is, by the way, one of the most interesting courses I had in the first year of my degree.
We learned that almost everything we do, or in this case, every decision we make, is most likely to be followed by a tiny regret – this regret called cognitive dissonance, which means, there is a gap between what we believe/think, and the action we do.
For example, a religious girl who’s going out with a secular guy is having cognitive dissonance because she knows it’s neither the right thing to do nor the acceptable thing to do, yet she continues doing that. How does she over come this dissonance? She makes some excuses to justify her behavior.
Lately, I was dealing with the biggest, most cliché dissonance ever. I knew I had to do something, but I didn’t do that because I was afraid. Afraid of losing someone who was important to me. Although my brain knew exactly what to do, my heart refused to listen. These two are always in a fight when it comes to the matter of love, and their reactions are the cause of the cognitive dissonance.
“Regrets suck”, a good friend was saying to me one day, while sun bathing on the grass on campus.
“Why?” I asked her. Inside, I knew why, I just wanted her to explain to me what her deal was.
She said that most of the things she regrets are untouchable, or in better words, cannot be fixed. I told her that is the beauty in life- you get to make your own decisions, that you may or may not regret, and that what makes you responsible for your own life, with no one else to blame if you make a mistake.
Honestly? I definitely agree with her. Regrets suck. They make you over think about stuff you should have stopped thinking about months ago, they may even make you cry at long, cold nights. But at one thing I believe, and will always do- regrets make you smarter. Better observer. They make you think. Think! This utterly important action people forget to do sometimes.
Think before you talk, act, write, respond.
So yes, decisions. Decisions are my biggest problem right now. There are so many I have made and I regretted, but when it comes to my own happiness and inner smile, I know I have made the best decisions I could’ve made. So yes, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes you miss him like hell, sometimes you just want to call him or text him. You want him to be a massive part of your life again.
But sometimes you just need to stop, and THINK for a second. You made this decision for your own good. It’s no time to regret now. Don’t take it back. This time, you have actually made the right choice for you.
I don’t really know what Carrie would have had to say about this one, but I do know that she would have agreed with me-
every girl should have her own Mister Big. We just need to make the right decisions in order to find him.