So, according to Facebook, this is how I spent my Shabbat with the kids:

My children and I woke up with the sun, smiling and ready to kick ass and “make it a great day.”

My hair was shiny. My smile, too.

I wore my hooker boots.

We drank our morning drinks in latte cups – frothy foam mustaches lacing our lips.

We played Sheshbesh, our skin mottled by drops of shade in the morning light.

We went for a walk in the orchards on the kibbutz, and we danced between emerald leaves like fairies.

We rocked out to Red Hot Chili Peppers.

‘Cuz that’s how we roll: Just another day being totally awesome.

 And while all of this is basically true, I’m also full of shit.

Here’s what really went down. .