Sermons of Rebuke: Ki Tisa Excerpts

כי תשא
Shabbat Shalom
H’ grants wisdom to the wise-hearted people, so that they can do the work that is necessary (31:6) ‘And they shall make all that I commanded you.’
Not too many talented people in this shule. H’ grants the craftsman his abilities. I think the last think project done by the adults in this congregation was an arts-n-crafts seat cover…After which, you learned that paper mache hardens. Now there is a seat that nobody can sit on, and it also looks like a balloon…You can’t call Legos construction…There is not one wise-hearted person in this congregation. Yes Bernie, you hired somebody to put up your Sukkah this year…
It is because none of you use anything for positive. H’ grants the wisdom so that they can make all that He commanded, not so that they can score a few days of overtime and get a longer vacation…
(33:15-16) Moshe pleads to Gd and says that ‘unless You are going to lead us, do not bring us forth from here.’
H’ as the leader. Not an angel (according to Rashi- Ramban says that Moshe is asking for H’s nearness along with the angel). Not anything but H.’ Moshe wants H’ to lead us.
All of our problems happened when H’ is not leading us. Look at the Gabbai…And you see the problems this congregation has, with a president that doesn’t even come to shule on Shabbat…We have these idiots leading us…
Yes, Bernie, he is the only one in this congregation that took woodshop class. He is probably at hoping working on his new Popsicle stick project right now….
This is why we had the golden calf in our community. Because we have the wrong leaders. And we are lucky it looked nothing like a golden calf. If any of you had the wisdom to build anything, or any talent, it would have been a reliving of the 40 years in the desert….I have been here for 8..
When we sin and cause H’ to not be in our presence, we went into exile. We lost the wisdom that H’ bestows upon those who are keeping his commandments.
Moshe is praying for H’ to be with the Jews, because that is the only way we can move forward…You cannot move forward with a president who wants to hire a minister to run the Shabbat morning programs…
Are you still drinking Bernie? Purim ended Thursday night. We are not in a walled city…
We can be closer to H’s lead ourselves, if we follow the Torah. Got that in. Dvar Torah is done. Nice.
***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom
About the Author
David Kilimnick: Jerusalem's Comedian performs at his Off The Wall Comedy Basement- Jerusalem's first comedy club, every Thursday in English and every Wednesday in Hebrew, in downtown Jerusalem. David may also be contacted to perform for tour groups in Israel & Synagogue fundraisers around the world, and for your private parties. Contact: david@israelcomedy.com 972(50)875-5688 David Kilimnick, dubbed Israel's father of Anglo comedy by the Jerusalem Post, is leading the new pack of English-speaking stand-up comics in Israel . At his Off the Wall Comedy Basement club in Jerusalem (the first of its kind), Kilimnick has been offering up penetrating observations of life in his turbulent adopted country. Tourists and native Israelis alike have been flocking to his cozy, intimate club and raving about his unique ability to transform the daily chaos and aggravation of Israeli life into an evening full of laughter. Kilimnick's material covers the rocky transition from his "New York Cocoon" to his new life as an "Oleh Chadash" or Israeli newcomer. Still single, Kilimnick touches on his religious upbringing, his rabbinic insights, the injustices of Jewish grammar school and Jewish summer camp, and the looks he gets from his Jewish mother because he isn't married yet. Meanwhile, Kilimnick's universal humor takes you on a tour of funny through the Holy Land. Incorporating routines from his shows 'The Aliyah Monologues Classic 1 & 2','Find Me A Wife,' 'Frum From Birth: Religious Manifesto', his music show 'Avtala Band' & more, David Kilimnick justifies his Aliyah (move to Israel), while taking you through the reality of life as a single immigrant, Israel experiences, holidays & family left behind. You are sure to walk away entertained, enlightened, or with David. David has recently appeared on "Bip" Israel's comedy network, צחוק מעבודב and has been hailed by the tough Israeli media as a rising star who possesses Seinfeldian charm when he takes to the stage.
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