5774 Social Media Viduy.

Coming soon to a machzor near you.

– For the sins I committed by posting selfies – all the time, everywhere.

– For the sins I committed by allowing instigators to bait me on topics that will never ever -no matter how many times they are rehashed- ever- be solved on SM.

– For the sins I committed by hurling epithets across the globe at a person I didn’t know because, well, they were wrong.

– For the sins I committed by posting pictures of every meal I ate, every dish I cooked, and every coffee I drank and labeling it #foodporn

– For the sins I committed by taking credit for posts that were not originally mine. Failure to RT/HT.

– #For #the #sins #I #committed #by #abusing #hashtags

– For the sins I committed by tagging 25 people in a post to ask something that I could have googled in less time it took to tag them.

– For the sins I committed by answering people’s query with LMGTFY.

– For the sins I committed by asking people to LIKE MY (totally irrelevant) PAGE!

– For the sins I committed by liking my own status.

– For the sins I committed by judging people on their stupid drunken tweets (I might only be a little sorry for this- I mean COME ON!).

– For the sins I committed by all intentional and unintentional offense by usage of TWSS.

– For the sins I committed by posting about a TV show before the statutory spoiler embargo period had officially lifted.

– For the sins I committed by participating in decidedly inappropriate conversations because I just couldn’t help it and it was SUCH a great line!

– For the sins I committed by wishing harm on all those who post their Candy Crush accomplishments.

– For the sins I committed by asking for RT, Likes & Shares like a crack addict looking for a hit.

– For the sins I committed by jumping into a thread 53 comments long and not reading one of them.

– For the sins I committed by Fakebooking my way through life and making it seem like I always look good, never beat my kids, am always bright and cheerful, and everyone loves me.

– For the sins I committed by joining the bashing of a certain race, creed, religious group or fashion nightmare because its fun and everyone is doing it.

– For the sins I committed by being completely obnoxious but ending the post with a smile so I can’t be called on it :).

– For the sins I committed by lurking and never posting.

And for those of you not on Social Media:

– For the sins of asking people who are on Social Media, ‘What do you post, like “I have to go to the bathroom,” or “Here’s what I’m eating for breakfast?”

Gmar Tov Everyone!