lovehateOut of all the guys I have dated or had as boyfriends, he is one that sticks in my mind. I remember every word he said, everything he did (and didn’t) do, his scent, his smile, basically everything.

When we would sit together, I could look into his eyes and see our children. I could picture hanging out with his family, seeing them at our wedding and future holidays. Sounds crazy, hey?

Well it was a crazy whirlwind time full of emotions, something I am not so good at, lots of ups and downs, incredible sexual chemistry, lots of laughter but also tears.

I came across a quote once which said:

“There are two ways we begin to understand that we’re developing feelings for another person: We feel nothing or we feel something.”

Well ain’t that the truth. With this guy, I would want to punch and kiss him at the same time; I liked him and hated him all at once. When someone makes us feel something it can be pleasant and unpleasant, negative and positive, at the same time.

As a kid, my mother always told me that that there are good and bad things in this world and as I grow up and become an adult, I will be able to tell the difference. Well, I am an adult now and let me tell you, it isn’t that easy. Some things that are bad feel so good so it makes you want to convince yourself that is it good for you. Right?

Wrong.

A lot of the time, the bad that feels good is usually relationships. But come on, we all know it is never a ‘real’ relationship. At the time we are so in it and so involved, we like to believe it is something that is it not, and that was the case with this guy. I wanted to believe all the things he said, and at the time, I kind of did. These unhealthy relationships leave us so confused and leave us questioning who the unstable one is, me or him?

Eventually you realize though, because it cannot keep going continuing like that. You deserve more and he has made it clear that more is not what he wants right now. So you cannot agree on what you guys want, all you can agree on is that you both still want to hang out. This will soon fade out though as one of you will meet someone else and start something there.

When you know it is wrong but feels right, always know that is it wrong and it’ll be a struggle and will not get easier, especially when it comes to relationships and love. Love makes memories. Love should be easy.

So here is a message for you all. If you start dating someone and it includes drama, is not easy flowing and feels stressful, makes you question yourself and your worth, or even makes you sad and cry, leave the situation. Even if you are so into the person, or the sex is great or they make you feel a million bucks when you are with them, when you aren’t they are probably making someone else feel a million bucks too!

Always be yourself, respect yourself and know your worth! Time is precious, don’t waste it.