The word from Washington is that a new star will be added to the American flag. The State of Israel is soon to become the fifty-first state admitted to the United States of America. And we are even being given “preferred treatment”. We will not be simply a territory like Puerto Rico, Guam, or the U.S. Virgin Islands. Oh no ! We will be a real honest-to-goodness state with all the privileges of being American.
Some weeks ago, you may recall, MK Bennett of the Bayit Yehudi proposed that settlements on the outskirts of Jerusalem, like Maale Adumim, for example, could be annexed to become an integral part of greater Jerusalem. Our Prime Minister enthusiastically endorsed it and announced for all the world to hear that Jerusalem’s Jewish population was about to increase.
The Palestinians, naturally, opposed it since it would prevent a geographically united future Palestinian state.
Our haredim opposed it because it would infuse Jerusalem with a large Jewish secular population, thereby denying the haredim of a successful vote for the next mayor of Jerusalem… a haredi one.
And then, the White House phones went into action. Bibi was instructed…nay, demanded… to cancel any such plans for annexation or other means of increasing East Jerusalem’s Jewish population, as a danger to the creation of a two-state solution.
And Bibi, being the good boy that he is, heard the TRUMPets blaring and he knew which side his bread was buttered on. A sudden turn-about was announced in the Knesset from the Prime Minister that no such plan would be put into action…… at this time. The key words being “at this time”.
All Israelis should start to learn the words to The Star Spangled Banner, the American national anthem, written by Francis Scott Key in 1812 as he watched the British bombardment of Fort McHenry in Baltimore. Israelis should be happy with that as we had watched the wretchedness of our experiences with the British during the Mandatory years of 1918-1948. So already, we and the Americans have a history in common. And Britain was the enemy until the sun no longer shined on her empire. Brittania no longer ruled the waves.
And what a delight it would be to become an American state….only two political parties to vote for rather than the awful multitude we have here. No shouting and shrieking nor verbal abuse in the halls of Congress… a relief from the mis-behavior of most of our Knesset members.
Our taxes would naturally have to be paid into the coffers of the U.S. Treasury and we would be afforded the supreme honor of sending a check annually to the IRS… Internal Revenue Service.
Ah, the joys of being an American state ! No long waiting times at Kupat Cholim. Just pick up the telephone and call your doctor for an appointment. Sometimes, if you are lucky, you can get it on the same day, the next day or the next week. Not like my friend in Rishon who had to wait three months for an appointment for a CT. She died of cancer before she got her appointment.
One of the advantages of Israel becoming an American state is the opportunity it will give us to receive more financial and military aid. And, needless to say, any attack upon Israel would be an attack on the United States of America which would respond with its full power and military might.
As you hopefully understand, this article is written with tongue in cheek. Nothing is better than some occasional sarcasm !!!
Still, when all is said and done, America is nice but Israel is home ! It is our home! After an exile of two thousand years, we returned home triumphantly, not on the Mayflower but many on the Exodus. And on many smaller crafts like Columbus’s Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria.
The early Americans had to put up with the indigenous native Indian populations. There were frequent skirmishes and wars between them, even some massacres like those under General Custer’s command.
We had to put up with terrorism and frequent murders by the Arab population and with treachery from the British Mandatory authorities. But we survived and succeeded in building one of the greatest nations on earth.
The Jewish composer, Irving Berlin, wrote the popular song “God Bless America”. But God blessed Israel first, three thousand years ago, and His blessings are still coming.
May they continue to come forever more !