Ok that has nothing to do with the uniform. The black uniform comes from the mechanchim in the Bais Yakov, Chareidi and Chassidish schools, it is one of the nonsense issues that they brainwash all the girls about. I for one always laugh and say "it is a waste of the color photography". If you would look at a young woman's closet you would faint. Why do you need so many dresses and skirts if they are all black? Once upon a time, when a woman needed to get her husband's attention, she would tell another man, "could you please get my husband for me, he is wearing a black suit and hat!" and the guy would laugh. Today the shoe is on the other foot. A man that wants to get his wife out tells another woman "can you please get my wife or daughter for me she is wearing a black dress." Really? No kidding.

But seriously, the Rosh Yeshiva was NOT wrong. It would all depend on what type of wedding one goes to. Not every wedding abides by the rules of decorum one would associate with a religious Jewish wedding. And I am saddened to say that no, not all women or even young women, even though they know they will be at the Chupah, dress appropriately to such a serious event. After all it is a religious ceremony and not just another party or a night out at a club. And the dancing itself can be extremely embarrassing at times. So those who would wish to refrain from seeing what they shouldn't see, or exposing their guests to what they shouldn't see or get too close to, is better off choosing to separate the masses since one does NOT have control over the wardrobe choices of the entire guest list.

I am not judging anyone, everyone has freedom of choice and is entitled to do what they choose to do, that is up to them. But if you are already interested in the question of whether one should or why people do, this is my opinion. As far as the music being too loud, I agree with this as well, and would suggest to either instruct the band that your guests are NOT deaf and would like to be able to communicate with each other, or have a bowl of earplugs on each table. At my simchas I instructed the band to play soft classical music during the breaks in dancing (eating) and fun energetic dancing music for dancing as loud as the chasan and kallah wanted.

As far as women sweating more, well I don't know what that meant unless he meant that they also use more perfume that might be enticing to men, but on the other hand I would say that both men and women tend to dance very leibedig and they both can give off offensive odors so in that case, it is fine with me if gentlemen confine their odors to the other side of the room.

On a more serious note, I think trying to make shidduchim at weddings is a great idea but it can't be accomplished at the main ballroom. It would be a great idea if the families would set up some shadchanim in lets say the chasson's kabbalas panim room or back in the chupah room with some cocktail tables and chairs, and maybe some soft drinks and fruit and allow some singles to go back in there and mingle or fill out information cards. That would be a quiet semi-private area where young people could actually be able to speak to each other and not scream over the loud music and not misunderstand each other either. Having some married couples involved there also, like shadchanim or acting as shadchanim, can help the process as well, by going over to anyone and asking if they would like to speak to the boy or girl in the corner, etc. There are ways to work out such details, but having them sit at the same table might not work because they are either egged on by friends, or embarrassed by the others at the table, or drink too much, etc.

Ok that has nothing to do with the uniform. The black uniform comes from the mechanchim in the Bais Yakov, Chareidi and Chassidish schools, it is one of the nonsense issues that they brainwash all the girls about. I for one always laugh and say "it is a waste of the color photography". If you would look at a young woman's closet you would faint. Why do you need so many dresses and skirts if they are all black? Once upon a time, when a woman needed to get her husband's attention, she would tell another man, "could you please get my husband for me, he is wearing a black suit and hat!" and the guy would laugh. Today the shoe is on the other foot. A man that wants to get his wife out tells another woman "can you please get my wife or daughter for me she is wearing a black dress." Really? No kidding.

But seriously, the Rosh Yeshiva was NOT wrong. It would all depend on what type of wedding one goes to. Not every wedding abides by the rules of decorum one would associate with a religious Jewish wedding. And I am saddened to say that no, not all women or even young women, even though they know they will be at the Chupah, dress appropriately to such a serious event. After all it is a religious ceremony and not just another party or a night out at a club. And the dancing itself can be extremely embarrassing at times. So those who would wish to refrain from seeing what they shouldn't see, or exposing their guests to what they shouldn't see or get too close to, is better off choosing to separate the masses since one does NOT have control over the wardrobe choices of the entire guest list.

I am not judging anyone, everyone has freedom of choice and is entitled to do what they choose to do, that is up to them. But if you are already interested in the question of whether one should or why people do, this is my opinion. As far as the music being too loud, I agree with this as well, and would suggest to either instruct the band that your guests are NOT deaf and would like to be able to communicate with each other, or have a bowl of earplugs on each table. At my simchas I instructed the band to play soft classical music during the breaks in dancing (eating) and fun energetic dancing music for dancing as loud as the chasan and kallah wanted.

As far as women sweating more, well I don't know what that meant unless he meant that they also use more perfume that might be enticing to men, but on the other hand I would say that both men and women tend to dance very leibedig and they both can give off offensive odors so in that case, it is fine with me if gentlemen confine their odors to the other side of the room.

On a more serious note, I think trying to make shidduchim at weddings is a great idea but it can't be accomplished at the main ballroom. It would be a great idea if the families would set up some shadchanim in lets say the chasson's kabbalas panim room or back in the chupah room with some cocktail tables and chairs, and maybe some soft drinks and fruit and allow some singles to go back in there and mingle or fill out information cards. That would be a quiet semi-private area where young people could actually be able to speak to each other and not scream over the loud music and not misunderstand each other either. Having some married couples involved there also, like shadchanim or acting as shadchanim, can help the process as well, by going over to anyone and asking if they would like to speak to the boy or girl in the corner, etc. There are ways to work out such details, but having them sit at the same table might not work because they are either egged on by friends, or embarrassed by the others at the table, or drink too much, etc.

THE “I-YOU-HE” GAME
The 48 Ways has a concept called the “I-You-He” game. It’s based on the premise that we usually describe people on three levels. When we refer to ourselves, we paint the best picture possible. With others, we don’t want be insulting to their face, so we paint them gray. And when someone is not around to defend himself, we paint him black. “I” am white. “You” are gray. “He” is black.

You’re the passenger in a car careening 90 miles an hour down a winding mountain road. As you grip the dashboard in fear for your life, you turn to the driver and say, “Aren’t you being a bit foolhardy?”

“Me? Oh, no. I’m brave. I’m not afraid of anything!”

If you’re lucky enough to live to tell about it, you say, “That guy’s a reckless idiot!”

The driver refers to himself as “brave.” To his face, you call him “foolhardy.” To a third party, he’s a “reckless idiot.”

Which one is the reality?

By working through objective definitions, we can assess the situation without personal feelings getting in the way:

A. “Brave” = taking a necessary risk for a worthwhile purpose (e.g. rushing into a burning building to save the children trapped inside).

B. “Foolhardy” = taking an unnecessary risk, yet with a noble purpose (e.g. rushing in to save the children, but without any protective gear).

C. “A Reckless Idiot” = taking an unnecessary risk, for no worthwhile purpose (e.g. rushing in just to watch the beams fall down).

Back to the car on the mountain road.

You turn to the driver and say, “Why are we risking our lives? What is the worthwhile purpose?”
The driver will have to agree he’s being a reckless idiot.

That’s being an intellectual. Leading with your head, rather than muddling through life based on feelings alone. Otherwise, you’re always stuck on the level of: “I’m brave, he’s a reckless idiot.”

Chaim
Easy.
If I do it to you, it is criticizing.
If you do it to me it is bashing.
4 minutes ago · · 2.

Secondly, "Why would someone who wants to encourage successful marriages insist on separating the sexes when they can meet and mingle in a healthy, festive, celebratory environment like a wedding where they can get to know one another and perhaps start a dating relationship that may lead to marriage?"

Orthodox Jews do not encourage mingling of the sexes until one is ready to be married. I, personally, have no interest in a casual boyfriend, and I know that many of my non-religious and gentile friends are moving into that direction as well. I always find it amusing when I see the advertised success rates of websites like match.com, because this is how the ultra-orthodox have been finding their better halves for centuries.When a religious woman or man decides that he or she is ready for marriage, the first step would be to set out and find a potential spouse with whom you share common interests, common goals, and general perspectives. Only after this is all out of the way do couples actually meet and begin to date.
I am not going to presume to suggest that all ultra-orthodox go through the motions like they should, and while I will not pretend that there is no social pressure to get married, as well as stigmas attached to divorce, I will tell you that the reason the ultra-orthodox do not encourage mingling of the sexes is simply, again, practicality.

Thirdly, "Why is the black uniform de rigueur these days when all it does is to make everyone look virtually the same?"
I'm going to answer this question in two parts:
1.) What's wrong with all looking exactly the same?
All police men "look exactly the same", but that doesn't hinder their ability to protect.
Most lawyers wear dark suits and ties.— Why doesn't that bother you?
I feel that there is an underlying attitude directed towards religious Jews- that we are somehow "forced" into submission- that we are secretly offended by segregated buses, and that we are forbidden to live fulfilling lives outside of housewife and mother; that we do not live our lives as we choose.
2.) The black uniform is de rigueur because it just is. All of the charedi stores sell darker clothing that is modest. Perhaps is is a sort of pluralistic ignorance, where the stores sell mostly black because it is in demand, while customers buy black because it is easiest to find. Neither bothering to consider that it is their behavior that directly limits their options.

Conformity, socialization, and social values are all instrumental in the formation of social norms. So it is not that we are "instructed" to wear black, as much as it is just the ultra orthodox conforming to social norms like the rest of the human race. (yup, we really are humans just like everyone else) Orthodox Jews have worn black for at least a century. Perhaps it began because darker material was cheaper. Or warmer. Or slimming, as you stated in your article. Either way, while there is always the exception, most orthodox women do not wear black because they have been instructed to do so.

"Why would women as a group just accept this rather dismissive uniform? And, my final question, at least at this moment is – If we are coming this far why not go all the way and require head to toe black?"

Why do you view black as a "dissmissive uniform"?
You did mention that plenty of girls and women were wearing sparkly jewelry and the like. It doesn't seem to me that they view their so called "uniform" as dissmissive.

Lastly, you mentioned that you spoke with someone who told you that fashion has moved towards more modest dress.
This is true. With the return of vintage fashion (and currently, the winter months), the midriffs of the 90's are no longer in. "Less is more" according to plenty of fashion mags like Vogue. However, the ultra orthodox have hardly conformed to norms of the fashion industry, so I can tell you that the modesty movement on the runway has little to no bearing on fashion in the haredi world.

Lastly, why the obsession with how women in the ultra-orthodox world dress?
I am, frankly, a tad offended that you imply in this article that religious women sheepishly conform to the rules that their husbands demand of them. Did you speak with any of the women at this event? Was there an abundance of women who cried that they no longer wish to conform? That their dress is somehow reflective of being coerced into living restrictive lives, stripped of their freedoms to make decisions of their own?

I would encourage you to ask around. Most will tell you that they do not pay too much attention to the fact that they are all in black. Pointing out the BLACK is sort of like making a mountain out of a mole hole.