Sitting in our beloved friends’ Sukkah in Rosh Pina on Friday I was invited to share words of Torah. My heart was bursting open from meaningful time with beloveds- family, friends and teachers- both in that moment and all through the festival. I just came from a skype session with a beloved mentor connecting my heart to my womb while I sat on the banks of the Sea of Galilee. Feeling the burning opening at the back of my heart. The mystery is what we cannot see.
I am connecting to my womb. It becomes the center of my being. I bring my heart into my womb. The Sukkah is the divine womb. Through its depth and darkness we connect to the depths and mysteries of our own being and of all of creation. It connects me to the earth and to the void.
As I unfold and feel more depth in myself, everyone and everything I see continues to grow in depth. The magnificent beauty of the world is entering into my heart in new ways and breaking it open. Things are again taking on added dimensions, coming alive, jumping out of the flatness of reality.
There is an abundance of love and life energy, resources that we as humans most deeply crave (maybe after air and water). We can open ourselves to be the recipients and the generators of love and life energy. Each human is an incredible network of conductors and connectors and filters and interpreters. We have the capacity to keep on changing, transforming, releasing and starting again. We have the capacity to experience deep relaxation and pleasure even in the midst of a busy and mundane life. The pleasure is the joy of being alive, of existing without expectation, of tasting the sweet nectar of being in the present.
I am nourished by listening in to my womb and by listening in to the depths of those around me. I realise I am nourished energetically through being with people who are open and connected to theie lifeforce energy. This is home for me. Homecoming. From this place there is nowhere else to go and nothing that needs to happen. Each person can rest in her/his own deep being. We are all sitting on a diamond mine. The diamond of our being.
I learn again that unconditional love and adoration is not the answer to everything. We may think we want someone to love us but more than that what we want is our wholeness and integrity. We want ourselves. In our fullness. So to accept someone unconditionally is a gift and can be useful. But when we can openheartedly give them an accurate picture of how we receive them, we offer a generous gift that keeps on giving and supports them to unfold more fully into who they are and who they can be. We may think we want someone else. We break off bits of ourselves and then think our relationship with others can give us what we are missing. But we can never get what we don’t already have. We want ourselves. We yearn to rest in our own integrity and existence. Once we evoke things in ourselves then we can cultivate them in our relationship with others, with great ease.
The deep in me calls to the deep in you. The deep in you calls to the deep in me. The deep in me resonates with the deep in all of creation. My body is a temple, the temple. As is yours. I feel the ecstatic current of lifeforce flow through me. We have been so gifted. It is so simple and yet there is so much that can cover over what is true. Our deepest gifts require that we do nothing and yet they could be so elusive because we may need to unlearn in order to do nothing. Our deepest gifts we cannot see. They are like water to the fish that we are. So much a part of us, we think they are obvious but they are so uniquely ours. They are the divine imprint upon us. And they are the way we can uniquely imprint the world and be the unique bridge between heaven and earth that only we can be. We can help draw out and bring attention to the unique nature of the gifts of those people with whom we come into contact, those people who bless our lives with their presence.
May we listen to the call of the deep, let it resound in us, and may we live in the utter vastness of its spaciousness. Alone. And together.