Aside from Lena Dunham leaving the country[i], it’s hard to see any upside in this.

Watching what seemed like an inevitable path to Trump’s victory, I ran the gamut of every conceivable emotion, as you can see on my personal Facebook page, where I interacted with more people online than I had all year. I predicted this six months ago and in a fury warned every person in my mailing list a week ago (in a desperate email full of broken links and typos), feeling like it was my responsibility to show people precisely how Donald Trump was lying to them and begging them to do all they could to get Hillary Clinton elected.

In these articles, I outlined why Trump would win the election, as I predicted in July and why it was important to stop him. In spite of my detest for the liberal politically correct agenda taking precedence over civil liberties, I saw voting for Hillary was the right thing to do. The responsible thing to do. I greatly respect her intelligence and believe, like Obama she makes calculated decisions with the best interest of the American people in mind.

If they wanted to vote Trump in spite of this conning, I was OK with that, but I was really physically burdened by my disgust for misinformation tipping the scales of the election in a conman’s favor. This scary result became a fait accompli for me once Nate Silver’s algorithms gave him a one in three chance (I also counted the states where Trump was leading two days before the election and it added up to well over 270, before it dropped a little the day of the election). I was not some kind of soothsayer, the writings were on the wall and Brexit made it clear in my mind not to trust any lead short of 10%. The media still hasn’t caught up to the sentiment of the people and clearly they don’t know anything.

In some misguided vow of solidarity for Hillary, the media even ignored Julian Assange’s Russian State sponsored[ii] explanation of Hillary’s complicity in the Saudi Arabian government’s[iii] funding of ISIS. Though Assange was clearly on a personal vendetta and the email leak was old news, it wasn’t hard to see the irony in the state funding Isis, funding the Clinton Foundation to a tune of 25 million, a few years after purchasing $60.5 billion in arms from the US State Department.

While the mainstream media chose to ignore the power of his words, “Killary’s” enemies on Facebook ran wild with it, still curiously much less than Benghazi. I kept telling Trump supporters there are real things to criticize Hillary for you don’t have to find fake reasons. Never mind the Arab Spring that took place under Hillary and Obama’s watch that turned contained relatively stable dictatorships (some were even secular) into fertile ground for Sunni-Shia proxy wars between Iran and Saudi Arabia that became proxy wars between the US and Russia.

As I was on a crusade for truth in a world lacking in it, I began fact-checking this in American papers and The Guardian. Since Assange’s assertions were in my mind indisputable, I was forced to attack his character to defend Hillary. Though I’ve lost a lot of respect for Wikileaks, I see Snowden and Chelsea Manning as heroes, advocates for free speech that didn’t deserve to be treated as enemies of the state for revealing the clear corruption of the US government. They were right to whistleblow on the drone bombings, incompetence and corruption in the US Military. I feel the taxpayers deserved to know the NSA and CIA were needlessly spying on millions of citizens with the cooperation of multi-billion dollar corporations. Obama and Hillary took a hard stance that this was basically treason.

In spite of this, I found before the campaign Trump called for Snowden’s execution, which I believe turned a wash into a point in Hillary’s favor. Who knows, maybe to galvanize the support of the Bernie voters, she might even pardon these advocates of free speech, though this was probably wishful thinking. It also wasn’t hard to discern the clear motivation of Russia to get Trump elected, I can only assume to divide and weaken America.

My conspiracy lightbulbs went off, thinking of Trump’s wild declaration that “NATO is obsolete,” which he didn’t entirely let go of in the debate when he credited himself by saying, “I’m getting a lot of credit for this,” about NATO renegotiations that must have happened in his imagination. It wasn’t hard to argue that Trump was wittingly or unwittingly in Putin’s pocket and it’s still not inconceivable. I found out that the mainstream media was already covering this, which pretty much confirmed to me Trump didn’t have the judgment to lead this country. Who knows if Trump agreed to pardon Assange? Would you put it past him?

While this is all interesting conjecture, and really frightening considering Ukraine was the furthest west Putin could go in his mission to bring back the USSR—only because of the strength of NATO who you remember Trump finds pointless—it is still only conjecture. It seems that Putin wants Trump in power, and perhaps it would be unwise to ignore this considering we were on the precipice of a Cold War two years ago and the boiling tension led to America essentially being at war with Russia, while the voters remain largely ignorant.

If you keep following this line of thinking, it’s also not hard to criticize Hillary’s involvement in the Arab Spring, while I also shudder to consider what havoc a partnership of Trump and Putin will cause. This could very well bring on World War III and the end of Western civilization, with the US fighting against or far be it from me to say alongside Russia, as more states in the Middle East destabilize as a result of US and Russian intervention. More destabilized states will start more proxy wars between Jihadist organizations, opening a bigger floodgate of refugees into Europe from countries that get more radical by the day. Excuse the hyperbole, but this could realistically drive Europe back to the dark ages. I don’t think it will, but these are trying times.

Another harrowing thought is that Saudi Arabia all of a sudden has the 3rd largest military budget, substantially bigger than Russia. Complicating the matter further, America is completely dependent on OPEC’s largely Saudi Arabian oil (ever wonder why your gas price is so low?). Further, after the Iran deal, America is essentially allied with Iran against Isis, Saudi Arabia’s mortal enemy.

While the US government refuses to acknowledge stuxnet, I am not the only one who believes the Israel’s Mossad and America’s NSA’s secret cyberwar with Iran, has a large part to do with the Iran deal that essentially made Iran our ally. When the computer virus stuxnet rigged Iran’s highly developed nuclear centrifuges to fail in ways that deceived people smart enough to become nuclear physicists for months on end, Israel losing patience with the progress, released a more aggressive strain of the virus. This shamed Iran, and Iran’s unpredictability made America cower.

I believe Israel was operating under the assumption that if they were discovered, this would force the US to ally with Israel and destroy the falling oil giant Iran. Instead, we’ve armed Iran by injecting 150 billion dollars into their economy, all but ensuring Iran will have a nuclear weapon in 9 years as Podesta’s email confirms. When Republican Senator, Mark Kirk of Illinois wrote Hillary’s campaign manager, “This agreement condemns the next generation to cleaning up a nuclear war in the Persian Gulf…This is the greatest appeasement since Chamberlain gave Czechoslovakia to Hitler,” all Podesta could respond was “Yup.” I would also argue Israel, the only ideological ally to the US in the Middle East, will be vulnerable. Though Iran was once a moderate country, that still houses many prominent Jews, the backlash to the Shah of Iran’s modernization is still alive 38 years since his overthrow. Though I’m certainly more afraid of Saudi Arabia, like the rest of the Middle East, Iran is becoming much more radical.

While I don’t blame the terms of the Iran deal on Clinton—Kerry and Obama are clearly the culprits here—, I blame political correctness for the utter denial of the madness of religious monarchs fighting holy wars in the Middle East. This is the same thinking that prevented Obama from even saying, “Radical Islamic terror,” and with a straight-face chose not to mention a shooting in a kosher supermarket was targeting Jews.

I don’t see any clear advantage to what Obama did in the Middle East in terms of self-interest or the betterment of the world, other than Opec lowering the oil prices for the consumer and making more profit for the military industrial complex. Rather than stand up to Putin, a throwback to nationalist dictators of the past, who has his sights set on conquering the Soviet era buffer states, they chose to arm Saudi Arabia and let them dictate policies, while strengthening Iran. It seems like the only country Obama stood up to was Israel.

In the Middle East and in Russia for that matter, strength is the only things these countries respect. This grave lack of understanding of Middle East warfare is part of why people condemn Israel, though these proxy wars make the wars with Gaza and The West Bank look like tea parties. Somehow with a military budget that more than doubles every other country, America finds itself stuck in unwinnable wars and forced to cower to threats, because we are so overextended, with so few troops. It really begs the question, why don’t we just leave? Every attempt to police the Middle East has only caused harm.

While it is not covered heavily in our for profit media and most people have little connection to these places, many voters have family who fought in and continue to fight in these senseless wars with no end in sight. Despite having run as an anti-war candidate in 2008, the media darling Obama has kept us in the longest running war in the history of our nation. I had some faith Clinton was more rational on Israel, it’s hard to imagine she had any answers in the region. Watching the debate, I almost forgot we were at war. Though I haven’t heard a coherent plan from Trump other than his plan to let the generals do their jobs and not tell the people we’re attacking that we’re attacking them, I’m not sure he could do much worse.

Domestically, there is this insistence from the Democrats that everything is great, because crime is down, the Dow is at record highs and unemployment is at 5%.  It’s like they forgot the summer of terrorism, racial tension and police murder we just experienced. The Democrats are tone-deaf, running what would have been an excellent campaign in 1992. Their convention was great and Clinton won all three debates, but that doesn’t cut it anymore when the election is won and lost on facebook and twitter.

She couldn’t brush off the stink Trump was throwing at her. Like David Geffen did in 2008, Trump sold the narrative she was a liar, in spite of the fact he was lying through his teeth and contradicting himself every other sentence with self-assuredness and authenticity. Rather than shake up the country with big promises after instilling fear with the tone of the nation that felt like, “The American Dream is dead,” Hillary laughed off the conspiracies built on half-truths Trump was spewing. Hillary Clinton was a bad candidate.

After literally crying like a baby, as I woke up at 5:30 Israeli time (10:30est), when I saw that Trump was probably winning Michigan, a part of me felt everything would be OK. I started to remember what I said six months ago, when I first predicted a Trump victory and I began my crazy day of commenting on everything on Facebook, “I think I’m crying right now, but also thinking this might not be as bad as it seems. Maybe Trump will be okay. No one has any idea what he’s gonna do. He’s a fucking wild card. I wouldn’t be surprised if he picks Hillary as his secretary of state.” He has been both a Republican and a Democrat, who would say literally anything to get elected. Someone with his pride does not want to be remembered as the guy who stirred up racial tension and violence, and destroyed the economy. He’s a brilliant competitor who is clearly a lot smarter than he looks. Does he really want to screw this up.

I don’t think he’s racist. There won’t be a ban on Muslims, or a wall to Mexico. He has much too large an ego to let the party that elected him and nearly abandoned him, dictate his policies. Explaining my positive feelings to a friend on Facebook who has rightfully pissed off, I explained my theory. Another person chimed in, “So you’re saying he’s lying about everything and not just most things,” and I really believe that is what happened and I felt a lot better.

I was tired of defending Obama and Clinton for accomplishing things like piss-poor healthcare reform and the inevitable step of marriage equality, when the world is shambles. I had a Howard Beale moment and got tired of the bullshit, writing in a flash on my phone,

These newscasters are so stupid. It was so clear it was going to be Trump or at least be very close. When they watch a Trump rally all they can hear is their own voice, not what he’s saying and how it connects to people. The media lives in a fantasy land where they believe 5% unemployment means something when people are making the same money they did 30 years ago. The democrats don’t listen to voters who hate wall street and obamacare, feel the racial division, the threat of radical muslim terror and are tired of pseudo fascist politically correct ideology that is so backwards it ignores science. No one has any answers but this politics as usual bullshit isn’t gonna work anymore. I think Trump is a fucking buffoon whose policies will create huge instability (though i’m hoping he was lying as much as i thought he was to get elected), but we need to start looking at how to fix this broken system where no one trusts institutions and facts no longer matter to an electorate that feels abused by the elite.”

It just became so clear to me how backwards and broken our society is. How disconnected we are from each other. How we are lied to both in the obvious conspiracy theory, “Mexicans are rapists,” “Killary Clinton” way and in the way that Obama and Hillary lie to us through omission and cozy relationships with reporters. I’m tired of clear acceptance that legal bribes are part of the political process. Say what you will about Donald Trump, when Prince Alaweed, a Saudi billionaire and big Clinton Foundation contributor rightfully chastised Trump for calling on “a ban on all Muslims entering the country until we figure this thing out,” Trump fought back beautifully in a tweet. “Dopey Prince @Alwaleed_Talal wants to control our U.S. politicians with daddy’s money. Can’t do it when I get elected.#Trump2016.” Never mind that Trump started his business with “daddy’s money.” He stood up the evil powers that be, without an ounce of shame or apology, and yesterday Alaweed congratulated Trump with his tail between his legs. Maybe this is a little bit of what America needs. We need to protect our way of life by asserting our power.

Why do the Democrats have to pick a candidate who makes your stomach turn a bit when you defend her accomplishments honestly? Processing the insanity, my righteous anger turned to acceptance. All politicians are corrupt simply by the virtue of being part of the political system. Donald has a lot of flaws, and it still seems impossible that a reality TV star/irresponsible mogul who I knew as the host of The Apprentice and the guy who rated women and like a teenager bragged about his conquests on Howard Stern is now president, without once putting on the charade of claiming to be moral.

The world felt like it was turned upside and yet many ardent Democrats seemed like by seeing the truth of the hatred revealed by the people in front of them, there was this desire to connect with each other, learn to love each other above and in spite of our differences. We were tired of being divided as a country.

When Trump accepted the nation’s highest office, I was very impressed. Though I’m preparing myself for the worst, I feel hopeful. He seemed genuinely gracious and humble, remorseful for carrying such a dirty campaign out on Clinton. By calling out for the help of his opponents, I felt he genuinely wanted to unite the country he helped divide. For the first time since I can remember, I think there’s a chance that Democrats and Republicans will work together to find solutions.

We have strong differences in character and opinion. Despite both being spoiled children from New York, I don’t think we could be more different. I’m fair skinned and he’s orange. I believe in restrictions on business, while he thinks yuge tax cuts stimulate growth. I’m 100% certain on climate change, while he’s a bit iffy on it. In spite of all this, I stand behind him. After being right about the election results, I don’t think I could have been more wrong. The markets didn’t crash and it doesn’t look like the world is ending.

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[i] I can’t take credit for that one by Fake Donald Trump on the Howard Stern Show. And that was a joke, I love Girls in spite of Lena’s insane PC public persona.

[ii] For those who believe RT is objective, it is owned and operated the Russian government.

[iii] Qatar also funded ISIS and gave the Clinton foundation a million dollars.