It is a scream
A silent scream, monotone, exasperated.
It is a scream that speaks of unspoken tragedies that we all hear loud and clear
because you would be surprised what a scream can convey
It is the sound of the ringing in the ears of our soldiers on the battlefield, shell-shocked
It is the despair of a mother that comes spilling out
when she realizes she couldn’t protect her most prized treasure
It is the harsh reality that there are 6 million pieces of us, lost
It is the reminder that we are hated and hunted, still
It is the reality that we are a miracle a miracle that burns
It is the sound of the strike of my match as once upon a time I lit 3 extra candles on a Friday night,
for 3 boys, our boys, back when I still had hope.
It is the sound I made in my car, that sound that bubbled up and out and broke everything on its way,
when I discovered that all hope was shattered
It is the sound of children singing songs on the way to the bomb shelter
It is the sound of hearts beating out of their chests
for fear, for anger,
for love that isn’t enough to save the loved
It is the sound of ‘Shema’ being cut short, as darkness enters a place of worship, and hacks at the light
It is the sound of frozenness, of not knowing how to continue when so much is lost
It is a scream
Of utter bitter raw paralyzing pain that twists and swells inside
and somehow finds its way out, for 2 minutes.
And it is the sound of singing
The sound of a promise
The sound of remembrance and of never forgetting
It is the sound of honor and of respect and of sacrifice
It is the sound of oneness
One long drawn out monotone sound containing so much pain and so much unity
and in it we are drawn together, standing still, joined in our longing and our blood
It is our story and it resonates in our ears.
As do the great big booms that I now hear from outside my window
The booms and the screams and the laughs
Booms of a different genre
Laughs replacing the scream
Cries of joy and of gratitude and celebration
And I remember why I came here
And I know why I stay here
And I am forever home.
Happy Birthday Israel,
I hear you.