The other day I was asked a question. It was a question whose answer was meant to serve me, to highlight for me the things I sought and valued in life. It was a seemingly simple question.

How would I describe the ultimate person?

Needless to say there was a lot of hemming and hawing on my part. As open as I seem to be or like to think that I am, when it comes to truly taking a good hard look at my feelings, my desires and my hopes all of a sudden my insecurities and fears rear their little heads and cause me quite a bit of squirming.

That’s probably the reason I like the written word so much better than the spoken word. (Although people who know me will say I like the spoken word a lot too.) You can weave it into something that seems acceptable to your eyes and heart. It’s easier to express your feelings on “paper” because you have the time to get your thoughts into order. You feel braver baring your soul because you don’t have to make eye contact with another physical being. You can choose how much or how little of the real you you share. You can choose whether you want to let people see your vulnerabilities or if you want to hide behind a brave persona.

The question which I so ineloquently evaded continued to hound me hours later and I let myself wonder what the ultimate person would be like.

The ultimate person would be humble yet at the same time be sure of herself*.
She would be aware of her gifts and her talents and seek to constantly improve and learn.

She would listen to the feelings of her heart and less to the logic of her brain.
She wouldn’t waste time thinking when her heart was yelling yes.

She would give without expecting in return.
She would love even when surrounded by hate.

She would take the time to feed herself, physically and emotionally.
She would take the time to exercise both her body and brain.

She would see the best in people and help them believe it about themselves.
She would listen attentively and make you feel like there was no one in that moment more important than yourself.


She would understand others with empathy and not judge those who are different.
Her self worth would not be dependent on what others thought about her or said.

She would be wise beyond her years.
She would shy away from giving advice unless asked.

She would be honest but would know when to keep her thoughts to herself.
She would smile even when times were tough and her smiling would lift the spirits of others not just her own.

She would approach life with unabashed curiosity and excitement.
She would find the silver lining in almost every cloud and not harangue herself when she felt overwhelmed or down.

She would view mistakes without any regret.
She would live in the present yet never the past.

She would make plans for the future but she would know that the best plans are constantly fluid.
She would change her mind with no regrets.


She would know how to give encouragement to others.
She would know how to accept compliments without being embarrassed.


She would hug freely and let herself be hugged.
She would cry as freely as she laughed because she would know there is no shame in crying out loud.


She would be passionate about whatever she chose to focus her attention on.
She would be able to find pleasure in even the simplest of tasks.


She would practice gratitude and kindness with great ease.
She would give generously to those less fortunate than herself.


She would give of herself freely not worrying about getting hurt.
She would expect nothing yet receive it all.


She would be comfortable with her body and her looks.
She would take pride in her appearance and smile at the mirror.


She would be a gracious and accomplished host.
She would also be smart enough to know she doesn’t have to do it all herself.


She would know how to say no so that she had time for the things she deemed important in her life.
When she had to say no, she would do it in a way that no one felt hurt.


She would be trusting yet not naive.
She would face challenges with grace and belief.


She would know how to forgive but would not need to do so often.
She would not let hurt or anger blind her because she would understand that we all have our bad days.


She would instinctively feel when people needed help and she would be there for them with a helping hand.
Even harder, she would know how to ask for help and how to graciously lean on someone else’s shoulder for support.


The ultimate person would radiate gratitude and serenity even when there was sadness in her life.
The ultimate person would be a beacon of light and joy for the world.


I don’t think this ultimate person exists but I do think parts of this person are alive in each of us.

Is there a person who you emulate and want to be like?
What one quality is the one you think most important in a person?


*I used she because uuummmm I’m a she and doing the he/she thing all the way through would have been a bit cumbersome. So for all of you men out there, the ultimate person could be a he. (Not saying it is, but it could be.) 😉