When People prematurely published Kirk Douglas’ obituary, I decided to read about it. I of course freaked out! Then came Lady Gaga’s revelation and a mention of Kirk Douglas and Natalie Wood. I could have been silent…I wasn’t:

I should add that the Kirk Douglas thing is a familial thing, too. I’m not kidding. Somewhere along the way, the Daniloviches split up. I don’t know who our common ancestor is, though I do know that the Danilovich craziness infected at least four branches of the family—mine (my dad’s paternal granddad was a grandson of “Katarzyna” Danilowiczowna Czerniecka), Kirk Douglas’, and two others (with one of the other branches also being in L.A. right now).

The Daniloviches are notorious for crimes and coverups, and I should’ve known when one guy asked me if I’m related to Kirk Douglas. I said “No”, thinking that “Danilovich” was just a patronymic for him. Then I saw pictures of him. Then I knew where certain physical features originated (Yeah; that “Czarnecki chin” is a Danilovich one.). Then I figured out that the craziness comes from the Daniloviches.

I feel bad for Lana Wood, too. I thought my family damaged enough people just with our side. Apparently not. As one of my paternal granddad’s maternal cousins asked my aunt how my granddad got “such a nice daughter”, I’m asking how Natalie Wood and Jean Spangler had to suffer at our hands (and I take responsibility for Kirk Douglas’ Danilovich side, since they won’t. Someone has to.).

What do I do? As the saying goes, “All of Israel is responsible for one another.” Also, HaShem did promise punishment on the third and fourth generations in order to punish the sinful predecessors, at least indirectly.

Personally, I’d love to know which Danilovich screwed up. After all, we keep bringing some of the most-influential and worst people into the world. The obvious example is Kirk Douglas, and he’s on the Chavuser side. Meanwhile, I’m on one of the Suvalker Anusi sides (This is not a joke; and as I said, I said “No” to that guy and was thinking that “Danilovich” was just a patronymic for Kirk Douglas.).

How badly did the Suvalker sides mess up? Pretty badly either way. One (the Adam Danilowicz side) has a derelict deadbeat who left his two sons and their mother back in Krasne. Another side brought more trouble besides Kirk Douglas into Hollywood∗. As for my side? Let’s just say that we royally messed up (and that’s the nice way to say it.).

Yet, the derelict deadbeat had a grandson who has the following in his obituary:

He served in Europe during World War II, 317th Station Compliment, Army of the United States. He rose to the rank of Sergeant and was honorably discharged in 1945 after the war. Upon completion of his military service, Mr. Danilowicz obtained a law degree from George Washington University and went to work for the Department of Navy. In 1959, he left the Navy and was employed by the International Business Machines (IBM) Corporation in New York. As a corporate attorney, he eventually was the head legal counsel for IBM’s Federal Systems Division, spending the majority of his career working at IBM’s Gaithersburg, MD and Bethesda, MD corporate offices..

The grandson was very influential, then, I would say. Meanwhile, I’m betting that’s part of how my granduncles Tony (z”l)† and Jim ended up at IBM themselves.

As for my side? Well, we’re descended from that “Katarzyna” Danilowiczówna Czerniecka whose parents could’ve really gotten into trouble if the Poles and Russians caught on as to why “Katarzyna” was baptized almost five years after birth, for example. Yet, her son Felix’s branch had a daughter who married into the Chokola Family (not Manischewitz or Streit’s, though pretty darned good for an Anusi family in Luzerne County, Pennsylvaniaϖ.).

Our branch is descended from her illegal-immigrant son Julian, and we brought in one of three IRS Agents who served tax papers to then-President Richard Nixon. At the same time, the now-late former IRS Agent committed Social Security fraud and second-degree murder with murder-malice intent against his Wilkes-Barre-residing mother (and the Luzerne D.A. did look into the case until my family told me to be quiet about it).

In conclusion and as I stated before, we keep bringing some of the most-influential and worst people into the world. Adam Danilowicz brought in Paschal; “Katarzyna”‘s parents brought in a Chokola matriarch and an illegal immigrant whose matricidal grandson Jack had helped bring down then-POTUS Richard Nixon; and Herschel “Harry” Danilovich brought in Kirk Douglas.

Enough said…until I again ask myself, “What do I do when I know that my family brought in some of the world’s worst and yet-most-influential people? And what do I do when I know that we demonstrate how G-d blessed Israel and made us an ‘or lagoyim, and also demonstrate another angle to what Steven Hayes shed light on°?”

It is hard to be a Jew…especially when you know that your family’s hurt both others among Israel and the nations, and still somehow been prominent among Israel and a light to the nations.

 

Footnotes

 

∗I will leave my description at that. After all, one relative on that side threatened to sue me for innocuously mentioning that they’re related to my paternal granddad. Besides, I do not want to affect that another bad relative would get any attention, whether positive or negative.

† Granduncle Tony went into denial mode when he found out we were Jewish (Long story. Of course, he didn’t dare admit that we were because of his brother Jack. After all, Jack was in denial for decades on end. Only in a final phonecall with one of his granddaughters [me] did he himself change his story from adamant denial to “If we had any Jewish blood, I don’t know about it.”).

Meanwhile, he said that he and Granduncle Francis (z”l) look like Czarneckis; and Jack (“Pop-Pop” to me) and Granduncle Jim look like Trudnaks. I wonder if he now knows that Pop-Pop actually looked like the Daniloviches.

ϖ Besides, Granduncle Tony told me that Great-Granddad and the Chokolas were cousins; I just never made the connection until later and I had the help of Ancestry.com. In other words, the death certificate and a cousin’s marriage license on Ancestry.com affected me to realize that Great-Granddad was the in-law cousin of Szymon “Simon Chokola” Czokola.

°No pun intended, might I add