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To American Friends of The Sheldon & Miriam Adelson Embassy of the US in Israel!

Dear American Friends: Your generosity is why we have deluxe facilities to represent our national priorities in the region (satire)
Illustrative: Sheldon and Miriam Adelson, January 2012. (Union 20)
Illustrative: Sheldon and Miriam Adelson, January 2012. (Union 20)

Thank you for supporting the American Friends of The Sheldon & Miriam Adelson Embassy of the United States in Israel!

(Warning — satire ahead.)

(JTA collage)

Dear _______________,

We are so honored by your commitment to celebrating the new US Embassy in Jerusalem and its namesake donor, Sheldon Adelson.

Thanks to your generosity, The Sheldon & Miriam Adelson Embassy of the United States in Israel will be a world class institution, serving the needs of American diplomats in the country, promoting US interests in an unstable region and offering on-site catering for a variety of community functions. (For more information, contact kitchen@usembassy.gov.)

It is only with the continued generosity of individuals like you that we can continue to offer deluxe facilities for representing our national priorities in the region and beyond — because, frankly, it’s not in the federal budget at the moment. Being a part of the American Friends of The Sheldon & Miriam Adelson Embassy of the United States in Israel is an affirmation of our connection to our families, our community and the continuing blurring of the lines between the executive branch and private interests, as well as the kinds of political influence that supporters of Citizens United v. FEC never could have dreamed of.

American Friends of The Sheldon & Miriam Adelson Embassy of the United States in Israel offers several giving levels, providing you with the chance to be our partner in helping our State Department spend even less of its money on asserting America’s soft power in the world.

The Builders Society

With a minimum pledge of $1.8 million to our annual campaign, donors have the satisfaction of building a strong diplomatic community and earning naming rights to the conference room of their choice. Imagine your in-laws’ surprise when they hear that US policy toward the fair distribution of bilateral water rights is being hashed out in the Milton and Betty Lefkowitz Library! (Interested in ordering a Builders’ lapel pin? Click here.)

Ambassador’s Level

With a meaningful gift of $500,000, you are eligible to join the Jared Kushner Circle and actually sit in on a high-level strategy session with top representatives of the administration’s Middle East negotiating team. No experience, no security clearance? No problem!

The Chaverim Club

With a gift of $10,000 to the annual campaign, you are automatically entered into a drawing for the right to have your name attached to a Formal Agreement between the United States and Israel. (Past winners include the Rothman Family Memorandum of Understanding to Enhance and Expand Cooperative Efforts in Strategic Defense and The Mutual Recognition Agreement for Conformity Assessment of Telecommunications Equipment in Honor of Leonard Waxburg on his 75th Birthday. Mazel Tov, Uncle Lenny!

Lions of Sheldon

Lions are members of a select group of philanthropists who choose to endow the embassy in perpetuity with a legacy gift. Members commit their estates for the ongoing maintenance of embassy functions. You may honor a loved one or have your name live on forever with a special plaque attached to the feature of your choosing. Options (pending availability) include the auditorium, the visa and consular section, the subterranean wastewater treatment plant, the 12-inch blast wall or the CIA station (shhh!).

In sum, American Friends of The Sheldon & Miriam Adelson Embassy of the United States in Israel has brought together men and women of all walks of life to play an essential role in promoting peace, security and US interests abroad at a time when our own State Department has seemed to throw up its hands altogether. Thank you for being part of the future!

Andrew Silow-Carroll is the editor in chief of JTA.

About the Author
Andrew Silow-Carroll is editor in chief of the Jewish Telegraphic Agency. He was previously editor in chief and CEO of the New Jersey Jewish News and managing editor of the Forward newspaper.
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