TO-DO List for Retirees:

  1. Plan your retirement – get professional advice to calculate your assets and how they will provide for you on a monthly basis until age 90-95.
  2. Set goals – Discuss in depth with your spouse what quality of life you wish to maintain (as a function of available assets) during your retirement – you must reach a consensus on the difference between real needs and wants.
  3. Make a Budget! Before the Month Begins! Each Month! This is the best way to avoid overspending.
  4. Prepare a supplemental, emergency budget for unexpected expenses.
  5. Account for Inflation. Over five years, you can easily lose 10% or more of your purchasing power. Over twenty years, you can lose much more.
  6. Assure adequate health and siudi insurance. If inadequate, you cannot afford to give. ‘Nuff said.
  7. Get good and reputable investment counseling – rule of thumb: find the medium between too conservative and too aggressive investment vehicles
  8. Be stingy with your savings.
  9. Options for your home/apt to help supplement your retirement: Sell and downsize / Divide into apartments and offer for rent / Reverse Mortgage (absolutely last resort)
  10. Keep the management of your affairs simple: one bank account, one insurance agent, one financial advisor, one taxman, etc.
  11. Give your kids the best gift ever. Be financially independent!
  12. Delay as long as possible receiving bituach leumi and Social Security benefits.

If all else fails, you can take the advice of our subscriber ‘F.” who offers the failsafe Medicare Nursing Home Plan G. It works like this:

The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part G) and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the health care you need. Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That’s great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered! As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can’t afford to send you to a nursing home. And you will get rid of a useless politician while you’re at it. And now, because you are a prisoner, you don’t have to pay any more income taxes! Is this a great plan or what?

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