If we can’t laugh about him, how are we ever going to get rid of him?

  • Why is Trump against removal of all these statues of murderers, traitors, racists and anti-Semites? He could make a great wall with them. Doesn’t even need to wait until Mexico pays for it.
  • Every month, he gives away his salary to some charity, but the costs of protection of him and his troupe have rocketed sky-high. Why not use his salary for travel expenses, and when it’s used up, don’t travel. That’s what everyone else does.
  • “Trump is a mess” is fake news. It’s nothing new at all.
  • “Let’s make America great again.” It’s a joke. Believe me.
  • More jobs! No US president has created more (White House) jobs than the Donald in the past six months – sometimes even a new person after only ten days.
  • Why does Trump like golf? Because he’s flexible enough to also like it when the goal is to use one’s club to get the ball into the hole.
  • “You’re looking for the [Trump] university – they closed it!”
  • You know what I really really like about Trump? Could you please get back to me on that one?
  • He tries to make the rich richer for the money to trickle down. So far, the White House has leaked like a sieve, but I’ve felt no trickle.
  • “I will repeal and replace Obama care with For all I care.”
  • Trump goes to a psychiatrist. “Everybody is against me,” he cried. “You don’t need me,” said the shrink; “you’re all with it”.
  • Why is everyone but the Nazis attacking Trump? There is no such thing as bad publicity. Let’s ignore him.
  • What do you yell, when sinking in quicksand? “Drain the swamp!”
  • It should count for something that Trump is such a good liar. For what? That he’s a great liar.
  • To have such a great president, does America need any more changes to be great again?
  • He’s not unpresidential, not crazy, not rich – he’s a salesperson. What do you want from him? Honesty? That would kill his pitch.
  • “I promise you all, to always fight for the American dream on!”
  • He’s a master orator. Even when he pauses, he lies by omission.
  • “This is our opportunity to recapture our dynasty like never before!” (Freudian slip? He probably misread “destiny” – at 1:18!)