It turns out “Palestine” is occupied after all. By the UN.

Half the world, consisting of authoritarian Islamist theocracies, non-democratic dictatorships and brutal military regimes, would have you believe that something called “Palestine” is occupied. It is apparently occupied by the Jewish state of Israel. According to these people, “Palestine” is occupied – and this includes the ethnically cleansed, judenrein, Gaza Strip where not a single Jew, dead or alive, remains.

The other half of the world – consisting of people who believe in the quaint notions of democracy, free speech, religious freedom, gender equality and human rights – believes that “Palestine”, that is to say the two Jewish provinces of Judea and Samaria, are at best disputed territories.

Disputed not least because the only rationale behind Arab demands for this territory is that Arab Jordan successfully managed to ethnically cleanse all Jews from this territory between 1948 and 1967, when Israel retook the territory and once again made it possible for Jews to return to their homes.

The Arab position – and that of their leftist, communist and anarchist collaborators in the West – is that because the Jordanian expulsion of Jews and the subsequent ethnic cleansing of Jews from Judea and Samaria was successful for 19 years, the territory now rightfully belongs to the Arabs. This apparently passes for logic in some quarters.

But hold on a minute. What about the occupation?

Which occupation, you ask?

Well, for starters, there was the illegal Jordanian occupation of the disputed territory following the pogroms and mass expulsions of Jews – ethnic cleansing – between 1948 and 1967. That illegal occupation was not recognised by the United Nations (the oh-so-adored and untouchable UN). In fact, the only country that recognised Jordan’s illegal occupation was Islamic Pakistan – itself illegally occupying large swathes of Indian Kashmir. And that occupation continues to this day, although strangely the UN has no presence there and nothing to say on the issue. Of course, no Jews are involved in Kashmir so that may explain the UN’s silence.

After Israel returned Jews to their homes in the territories from which they were expelled by Muslim Jordan, the UN discovered that there was after all an occupation in this territory. Not the illegal one by Jordan that caused Israel to respond, only the Israeli response. Not cause and effect as we would expect in the civilised world, but effect and no cause. This kind of anti-Jewish bias, selective treatment of only the Jewish state, is what has become a byword for UN policy over the intervening decades. There is an accurate English term for this kind of prejudicial treatment: it is known as anti-Semitism and it takes many forms.

But none of that is important. Because it turns out that there actually IS an ongoing occupation of “Palestine”. For “Palestine” is occupied by a regime that is not even a member state of the UN and is therefore above the UN’s laws, recommendations and regulations.

It turns out that “Palestine”, officially made up of three territories in Jordan, Gaza and Judea & Samaria, is formally governed by a President currently in the 11th year of his 4-year term, Mahmud Abbas…

But even THAT isn’t the real issue.

The real issue is in fact the current occupation of “Palestine”. The UN’s wholesale occupation of large swathes of this territory.

I am currently in Jerusalem training for a fund-raising bike ride in late October on behalf of ALYN children’s hospital. Some of my cycling route takes me into “Palestine”. Lovely roads, but difficult to use.

Why? Because of all the UN traffic there. Beautiful, expensive cars, large SUVs, shiny vans, trucks and buses, you name it, all with their distinctive blue UN markings. There’s scarcely any space on the road for a cyclist because of all the lovely, costly UN vehicles on the roads. Admittedly I do also see the odd Israeli licence plate and a few licence plates from the PA-administered territory, but they are few and far between.

Now just consider the following before you decide how to do away with this insidious UN occupation.

During the Jordanian occupation, and following that Israel’s return of Jews to their lands, and after the PA was granted full administrative responsibilities under the Oslo Accords, it turns out that little industry has been created in “Palestine”; the UN-funded and UN-run education programme is a case study in mass indoctrination in hatred, racism and violence; the economy is kept alive by the UN thanks to the fact that the UN employs 25,000 locals to maintain the permanent refugee status of the local population; the UN provides the funding and training for the PA’s almost two dozen different internal and external security agencies; the UN runs many of the medical services and, if the PA’s own claims and that of the UN are to be believed, then even issues as basic as food, water supply and nutrition would be non-existent without the UN.

So it turns out the UN is the de facto government of “Palestine”. But since it hasn’t been elected to the post – any more than Mahmud Abbas has – we can rightly claim that “Palestine” is fully, totally, occupied by the UN. In terms of its security, economy, education, food, water, foreign policy, diplomatic cover – everything that makes a nation.

“Palestine” is UN-istan.

And it turns out that UN-istan is one of only a handful of countries that is NOT a member of the UN. Along with North Korea, among others…

Now THAT says a whole lot.