Now that Israel has apologized to Turkey for Turkey’s attack upon her, she now must apologize to every other country in the region, first and foremost to Iran.  Israel owes Iran a profound apology because although the ayatollahs have been screeching for Jewish blood for decades, if not centuries, Israel has claimed that it will do what it can to prevent Iran from gaining nuclear weaponry.  This high handed and arrogant attitude on the part of the Jewish State cannot go unredressed.

As Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has now essentially admitted to the world, the Jewish people have no rights to self-defense and must therefore apologize to Iran and, further, as a gesture of good will, must assist Iran in its march toward nuclear weaponry.  In the name of morality and basic human decency Israel must not only apologize to those who have sworn genocide for the Jews in the Middle East, but beg forgiveness for being so rude as to oppose them.

Israel also owes Egypt and the Muslim Brotherhood the most obsequious apology that she can muster.  Sure Muhammed Morsi is a vicious anti-Jewish racist who thinks that Jews are descended from apes and pigs, but he’s allowed, obviously.  What’s not allowed is either disagreeing or in any way suggesting that just maybe the rise of political Islam throughout the Middle East within the joyous “Arab Spring” is anything other than the great upwelling of democracy.  Many Israelis have expressed a certain doubt about this and must therefore apologize to Egypt, the Brotherhood, and Mr. Morsi, for those doubts.

Prime Minister Netanyahu, The Great Apologizer, has essentially told the entire world that Israel has no national pride and that Jews, as a whole, have no self-respect.  Good job, Mister Prime Minister!  This precedent has now been established and cannot be retracted.  Furthermore, just as Israel must apologize to very many countries around the world it must also immediately apologize to the Palestinian-Arabs for daring to reestablish itself within their historical homeland.  It doesn’t matter that Jews have been living in the area for something like four thousand years and that the Arabs didn’t show up in the region for thousands of years afterward.  It’s their land because they claim it is and thus Israel must not only apologize, but immediately hand over Jerusalem and whatever else that dictator Abbas wants for himself and his people.

Also, there is no one more deserving of an Israeli-Jewish apology than Hamas.  Just because their very charter vows your slaughter and just because they sought to make good on that vow throughout all of last year, it does not mean that you have the right to fight back.  As Hillary Clinton made quite clear last November, Hamas has every right to shoot rockets at you, but you have no rights to resist, which is why she dropped in to begin with, to prevent you from actually defeating Hamas.

Furthermore, the Western Wall must be abandoned and given over to the Palestinian-Arabs so that they can use it for a football court.  The fact that Jews have been withholding this ancient Palestinian-Arab football court for so long is yet another reason to apologize.

Also, of course, the Jews of the Middle East must apologize for their brazen theft of falafel.  Falafel is emphatically not Jewish cuisine, but is a food of other peoples and the Zionist Entity has no right to go around claiming falafel as some kind of national dish.  First you steal their land, then you steal their cuisine, and now you need to apologize.

What I want is for every Jew in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv and Haifa to follow PM Netanyahu’s lead and apologize.  What we can do is reserve a moment sometime within the next week, or thereabouts, wherein all Jews throughout the country will simultaneously stick their heads from their windows and cry out to the world, “We apologize!”

I have to say, the recent Obama trip worked out very well for everyone involved.  Turkey got its apology, although it clearly wasn’t abject enough.  Abbas got 500 million dollars.  Obama got Israeli compliance.  And Israel got to apologize!

I say we need more apologies.  There is nothing like good old-fashioned self-abasement to feed the soul.  And, of course, there is nothing in this world that people respect more than an apology for daring to defend yourself.   I just hope that when Obama left Netanyahu’s office that Netanyahu thanked him in the only manner appropriate… on his hands and knees.


Mike Lumish is the editor of Israel Thrives and as of this moment he could hardly be more proud.