אַיֶּֽכָּה – The Sweetest Hide and Seek

“אַיֶּֽכָּה”- arguably the most enigmatic question and mysterious “outstretched arm” in all of Torah. 

The first question from G!d to man, and maybe through divine design, the final answer as well.  

We first find this word tragically tempered into the beginning of life, in Gan Eden. 

Following the consumption of the fruit from the tree of knowledge, the Pasukim explain that Adam and Chava “hide” from Hashem when they “heard the voice of G!d moving in the garden”. The Pasuk could have ended then, however, it didn’t. If we authentically believe that every word of Torah was sculpted, meticulously and creatively by G!d just as clouds and trees whisper design by every season, then there must be a reason for the following two words as the text continues.  לְר֣וּחַ הַיּ֑וֹם  – why do we need to know that Hashem came with a breeze? 

The word “Ruach” we know, contextually holds a much stronger force than wind. Ruach in Jewish philosophy, is the breath of spirituality. From the words of David HaMelech:

לֵב טָהוֹר, בְּרָא-לִי אֱלֹ-ים; וְרוּחַ נָכוֹן, חַדֵּשׁ בְּקִרְבִּי אַל-תַּשְׁלִיכֵנִי מִלְּפָנֶיךָ; וְרוּחַ קָדְשְׁךָ, אַל-תִּקַּח מִמֶּנִּי 

Known as the prayer he whispers in song and psalms to Hashem after his actions with Batsheva; David HaMelech’s most honest and human prayer. A prayer for a pure heart, one that can only be painted by the Artist of awe and faith, as well as a guided “Ruach” that can only be revived by the Breath of all life. As Rabbi David Aaron coins so beautifully, Hashem is the Neshama H’aNishamot–the Soul of All Souls. 

So now that we know that Ruach is not just a stage direction and Hashem doesn’t need a “gust of wind” to announce divine presence, what really was this “Ruach” and why then does the Pasuk continue to say that Adam and Chava hid from it, davka among the trees? 

The Lubavitcher Rebbe once shared a powerful concept about Mashiach, that B’Ezrat Hashem, Mashiach will have the ability to “smell” and therefore differentiate pure among impure. (We see hints to this through the generations of Chassidishe stories, of Tzadikim finding what seems to be the lowliest person, to be the most exalted) – the truth is, we never know. 

Anyway, back to Mashiach.

So if Mashiach is able to “sift” through what is less obvious, specifically by means of “smell”– maybe one can understand this to mean that Mashiach shares a hint of the “Ruach” that existed in the garden on that fateful day. We know that Hebrew serves as an incredible vessel to reveal Hashem’s intricate design…the word in Hebrew for smell is ריח which shares the same root word as רוח. 

So Adam and Chava do something radical, they hide from G!d. 

As wild as this may sound, it may also be one of the more relatable moments of Tanach. It is this hidden relatability that makes this moment so incredible.Adam and Chava don’t just hide behind a rock, or a stalk of wheat…they hide among trees. Trees that would grow into a motif of humanness itself, “כִּ֤י הָֽאָדָם֙ עֵ֣ץ הַשָּׂדֶ֔ה” 

In times of intense challenge and doubt, people can’t help but look to each other for answers. Checking news feeds constantly, Whatsapp updates and various social media posts in hopes to receive the news we actually want to see…“Everything is Good!” 

Unfortunately the news on all fronts doesn’t usually project this. B”H I recently shared a sweet moment with an older woman in our community. We were speaking about the news and between the silence, telling each other that faith is bigger than fear. But she then said a very powerful point: We don’t need to look at the news to know what is going on or what will happen, we just need to look into the Torah. I believe she’s absolutely right. 

The transition of life from החדשות to החידושים, makes all the difference. 

Back to Gan Eden. 

Hashem pursues Adam and Chava, through maybe what could have been understood as intuition–the divine spark within that allows one to know between right and wrong. The voice they heard, but did not listen to.  

Then herein lies our question: “אַיֶּֽכָּה” – Where Are You?

A question echoed within and among the lines of Bereshit, only to appear again in this week’s Parsha. 

The first question by G!d, now asked by Moshe. Contextually, Moshe is repeating the cause for establishment of the Shoftim in Am Yisrael. אֵיכָ֥ה אֶשָּׂ֖א לְבַדִּ֑י טָרְחֲכֶ֥ם וּמַֽשַּׂאֲכֶ֖ם וְרִֽיבְכֶֽם׃ – How can I bear unaided the trouble of you, and the burden, and the bickering!

In a tone of rebuke, Moshe notes that the weight of all decisions can’t be on one individual, but rather as a shared piece of what it means to become a Nation. 

הָב֣וּ לָ֠כֶם אֲנָשִׁ֨ים חֲכָמִ֧ים וּנְבֹנִ֛ים וִידֻעִ֖ים לְשִׁבְטֵיכֶ֑ם וַאֲשִׂימֵ֖ם בְּרָאשֵׁיכֶֽם׃

Pick from each of your tribes candidates who are wise, discerning, and experienced, and I will appoint them as your heads.”

So now this mysterious question almost comes down from the cosmic “The Master of the Universe is looking for you in the garden (because you’re in trouble)” to the honest and vulnerable rhetoric of “I don’t want to do this alone” 

So maybe our question is our answer. Maybe אַיֶּֽכָּה isn’t a question of where or how–but a question of Who. Maybe crowning Hashem as king means adorning ourselves as worthy enough to be the children of royalty. Maybe there really is a partnership. As we see this word embedded into the sweet song of Shir HaShirim:

 הַגִּ֣ידָה לִּ֗י שֶׁ֤אָהֲבָה֙ נַפְשִׁ֔י אֵיכָ֣ה תִרְעֶ֔ה אֵיכָ֖ה תַּרְבִּ֣יץ בַּֽצָּהֳרָ֑יִם שַׁלָּמָ֤ה אֶֽהְיֶה֙ כְּעֹ֣טְיָ֔ה עַ֖ל עֶדְרֵ֥י חֲבֵרֶֽיךָ׃

אֵיכָ֖ה – Hashem seeking His beloved out of pure pursuit, not to “catch”, but rather to embrace. Even Shakespeare was able to grasp the declaration of love hidden within a question, “O Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo?” Le’Havdil, but אֵיכָ֣ה nonetheless. 

The power of words in Torah is their strength, fluidity and presence. 

אֵיכָ֣ה the word of loss and love. 

אֵיכָ֖ה the word of pursuit and embrace. 

אֵיכָ֖ה the word of question and answer. 

Rooted in Gan Eden, within the first few chapters of our eternal story, is this promise. The sweetest and most sacred, G!d seeking us in hidden and revealed ways. Through the “winds of change” and stillness of faith. The kindest game of you will hide and I will always seek.

אַיֶּֽכָּה: the Covenant with G!d and Am Yisrael of “זוקף כפופים” – Hashem can take what was once a question (?) and breathe exclamation into it (!) – from “Where are you? I am not close to you.” to “Where you are! That is where I am, too.” in the blink of an eye. 

Next week, maybe we’ll still read אֵיכָ֖ה, but please G!d, just as words have been molded and sculpted before–אֵיכָ֣ה ׀ יָשְׁבָ֣ה בָדָ֗ד הָעִיר֙ רַבָּ֣תִי עָ֔ם…

Maybe our sweet, busy and fiery city will not sit alone, but rather return – לשוב by Yad Hashem and Yad Hashem only, our city–in her most beautiful form, blessed and bustling with Us. 

בזכות כל עם ישראל