Did you see the title of this post (of course you did)? 100 percent Kosher… What exactly is Kosher? What’s all the hype with us Jews and our overly holy food? And why do people think that our food is the only thing that we have that is Kosher (never mind, Jews and food go together like salt and pepper)?
I’m literally giggling as I type this because I wasn’t always Kosher, hell, I wasn’t always Jewish either!
Before you waste precious energy on my tribal status let’s just say I didn’t come out of a Jewish vagina ( that I know of) but I got here as fast as I could but that’s a whole different day done a whole different way and you guessed it… I’ll be writing about my journey to Judaism soon enough (you know you want to know).
Okay back to the subject at hand. I wear the cutest shirt that I stole from my son. It’s a basic t-shirt that says (look above). This shirt was a gift to my son and after he wore it to Jewish Camp a few times he was over it. I was waiting for that moment when he would toss it so that I could grab it and wear the living life out of it.
When I wear this shirt people always crack up. I don’t know why? Do I not look like a walking piece of Kosher Chocolate to you ( what’s so funny)?
Well the other day I wore it to Ulpan and some of my classmates pointed out that it was the placement of the wording? Oh! That’s where the laughter comes from? Beseder (okay). The placement is right across my two new very beautiful שדיים (breast, boobs, tatas etc. ). Hell yes these things are Kosher and I don’t need a rabbi to put the stamp on these beautiful shadiim (שדיים ) that are closer to Hashem than most people have ever been (at least they point to the heavens).
I treat my two new best friends with love and respect, after all, I had to go through 16 rounds of chemotherapy, hair loss ( I worked that sexy bald head honey) and about 30 plus treatments of radiation plus a few surgeries to get them. I’m grateful for all of the above because to tell you the truth my new girls look way better than the old trusty triple D”s and I am probably physically in the best shape of my life. This shirt is a small reminder that while I am Kosher in what I eat there is so more to being Kosher than the fat grams and the calories . I am living proof of this.