30 things Hamas can do that are more productive than what they’re doing now

I know they say they’re trying to strike a blow at their Zionist oppressors, but I dunno. Maybe they’re just bored. Idle hands are the devil’s workshop, after all. So here’s a list of 30 suggested activities for Hamas operatives to try, all of which would be infinitely more productive than what they are doing now.

1. Bake cookies
2. Take a family trip to the beach
3. Organize a potluck iftar
4. Write a strongly worded letter to Ismail Haniyeh c/o Club Hotel Qatar
5. Beat rocket launchers into plowshares
6. Take music lessons and
7. Brush up on Hebrew grammar (Seriously. That music video was ridiculous.)
8. Open a Domino’s Pizza branch in Gaza City
9. Take a nap
10. Shake out your sillies
11. Do the hokey-pokey
12. Hold a burqa babe beauty contest
13. Choreograph a 1.5 million person flash mob
14. Write a national anthem
15. Have a feminist revolution
16. Learn to surf
17. Post bomb shelter selfies. Oh, wait…
18. Zumba
19. Plant a community garden
20. Send more threatening text messages. Some people (like me) are feeling left out.
21. Have a keffiyeh/hijab freeswap
22. Finally take care of those home repairs your wife has been bugging you about
23. Crochet an afghan
24. Start a green, Arabic-embossed sweatband gemach
25. Protest the price of cottage cheese (You’d be surprised what this can accomplish.)
26. Play Candy Crush
27. Listen to Bob Marley
28. Watch the original Star Wars Trilogy
29. Start an interpretive dance troupe
30. Celebrate Fresh Spinach Day

If you have a great idea for something productive Hamas can do with their time, let us know in the comments!

(Thank you to Facebook friends who already contributed to this list.)