30 things Hamas can do that are more productive than what they’re doing now
I know they say they’re trying to strike a blow at their Zionist oppressors, but I dunno. Maybe they’re just bored. Idle hands are the devil’s workshop, after all. So here’s a list of 30 suggested activities for Hamas operatives to try, all of which would be infinitely more productive than what they are doing now.
- Bake cookies
- Take a family trip to the beach
- Organize a potluck iftar
- Write a strongly worded letter to Ismail Haniyeh c/o Club Hotel Qatar
- Beat rocket launchers into plowshares
- Take music lessons and
- Brush up on Hebrew grammar (Seriously. That music video was ridiculous.)
- Open a Domino’s Pizza branch in Gaza City
- Take a nap
- Shake out your sillies
- Do the hokey-pokey
- Hold a burqa babe beauty contest
- Choreograph a 1.5 million person flash mob
- Write a national anthem
- Have a feminist revolution
- Learn to surf
- Post bomb shelter selfies. Oh, wait…
- Zumba
- Plant a community garden
- Send more threatening text messages. Some people (like me) are feeling left out.
- Have a keffiyeh/hijab freeswap
- Finally take care of those home repairs your wife has been bugging you about
- Crochet an afghan
- Start a green, Arabic-embossed sweatband gemach
- Protest the price of cottage cheese (You’d be surprised what this can accomplish.)
- Play Candy Crush
- Listen to Bob Marley
- Watch the original Star Wars Trilogy
- Start an interpretive dance troupe
- Celebrate Fresh Spinach Day
If you have a great idea for something productive Hamas can do with their time, let us know in the comments!
(Thank you to Facebook friends who already contributed to this list.)