30 things Hamas can do that are more productive than what they’re doing now

I know they say they’re trying to strike a blow at their Zionist oppressors, but I dunno. Maybe they’re just bored. Idle hands are the devil’s workshop, after all. So here’s a list of 30 suggested activities for Hamas operatives to try, all of which would be infinitely more productive than what they are doing now.

Bake cookies
Take a family trip to the beach
Organize a potluck iftar
Write a strongly worded letter to Ismail Haniyeh c/o Club Hotel Qatar
Beat rocket launchers into plowshares
Take music lessons and
Brush up on Hebrew grammar (Seriously. That music video was ridiculous.)
Open a Domino’s Pizza branch in Gaza City
Take a nap
Shake out your sillies
Do the hokey-pokey
Hold a burqa babe beauty contest
Choreograph a 1.5 million person flash mob
Write a national anthem
Have a feminist revolution
Learn to surf
Post bomb shelter selfies. Oh, wait…
Zumba
Plant a community garden
Send more threatening text messages. Some people (like me) are feeling left out.
Have a keffiyeh/hijab freeswap
Finally take care of those home repairs your wife has been bugging you about
Crochet an afghan
Start a green, Arabic-embossed sweatband gemach
Protest the price of cottage cheese (You’d be surprised what this can accomplish.)
Play Candy Crush
Listen to Bob Marley
Watch the original Star Wars Trilogy
Start an interpretive dance troupe
Celebrate Fresh Spinach Day

If you have a great idea for something productive Hamas can do with their time, let us know in the comments!

(Thank you to Facebook friends who already contributed to this list.)