9. The Weight of Living


The other night I was in a car driving past a place which evoked a deep sadness in me, because it reminded me of something that hadn’t hurt in a while. Something I couldn’t change. Something outside of me.

Maybe you have places like this too, maybe they aren’t physical places, maybe they are people, smells, sounds feelings, memories that anchor you to a previous place, transporter icons.Conditioning

I was jolted into thinking about it, not by the geographical location, but by the song that played in the background. I’d never heard “Weight of Living” by Bastille. and it shocked me to realise that this song randomly came on at the same time I was thinking about a place/time that made living heavy.Odd.

My initial response was emotional, and harsh. “who does this guy think he is, what does he know about the weight of living”. How can he presume to know my pain and my struggles. And only now I’m typing this do I realise that’s ridiculous, everyone has their stuff they carry, some manage to express it and some don’t even get that far. Some people choose to cut their life short before the pain they feel overruns them, again. Others do all kind of things to mask their pain. Some manage to find tools to think through it, or breathe it out, or try to change their state of mind to become productive instead of upset. Some can’t. Everyone has their stuff they carry.

I was recently chatting with someone who had come back from a Poland trip and they were emotional so they were saying a lot of extreme things, and usually I’d try not to correct emotion as what you feel can never be wrong, either helpful or not helpful, but that’s usually none of my business….anyway, they said “it makes you realise how everything else is not a problem, or pointless”.

And i pushed back, i felt that was too far. Just because something is shocking and awful and truly truly awful and never again, doesn’t mean everything else is worthless. For sure it gives you some perspective, other peoples suffering, and it made me personally want to live a full life of worth, but I don’t think it should have to mean everything else is meaningless. That no other problems are real. This is what we do sometimes, we live in extremes, prioritising those things that shout the loudest, truth is, the most important things are often the quietest. Life is in the details.

Everyone has their stuff.

Let’s notice the quiet things

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places…”

Have a good week, 🙂

About the Author
Raffi Grant, 24. In my third year of IT Infrastructure Support. Views my own raffigrant@gmail.com