A letter to my son; to be opened the day after the wedding

Dear Son,
Forty days before a soul comes down into this world, a voice declares in Heaven, “the daughter of this man shall marry the son of that man.”

Before you become someone, you are already designated for someone else.

Creation was almost done when G-d said, “it is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper to stand opposite him.

Woman entered into man’s sphere, and since then no breath, no heartbeat, could come to life without the cooperation between ish and isha, man and woman. Two beings so different thus forced to meet at a central point.

Dear Love,
The day after the wedding your pillow will not only have the shape of your head imprinted on it. You will talk, and there will not just be an echo to repeat your words. You will walk, and the footsteps you hear will not only belong to your steps. You will smile, and there will not be just a piece of a glass mirror to smile back at you.

The day after the wedding, someone with a way of thinking so different from yours will force you to go outside of yourself. Other eyes will teach you to look where you have never looked before. You will start walking at a rhythm so different from the one who have walked until now, and it is true, sometimes you will have to slow down because she will be behind you, but other times still, you will have to walk faster because she will already be ahead of you.

The day after the wedding, when the lights will turn off and the flowers will start to wither, when the white gown will be all crumpled and stained, and your shoes will be so dusty and worn out from the dances of the previous night, when celebrations will end, at that point, real life celebration will start.

The day after the wedding, man and woman start walking together and their breaths adapt one to the other. Creating a future is possible only when two individuals, who are so different from each other, are able to escape from their boundaries and begin working together to build a common path.

Dear Son,
The day after the wedding, it will be only you and her. You will have to learn how to shut up when you would like to talk, and how to talk when you would like to rest. You will have to try new tastes and pretend you like them so much, even when you don’t like them at all. You will have to laugh at jokes you don’t understand, go out when you are tired, and stay home when you are itching to go out. You will have to work, and try to improve yourself. You will have to modify your habits, to change who you were. You will have to get down, and to raise, to adapt yourself to your new life mate.

This is the requirement G-d put for humanity to go on: you have to go out from yourself and grow up together with the second half of your soul.

May you and your wife build an everlasting home.

With love,
Your Mother

Gheula Canarutto Nemni

About the Author
Gheula Canarutto Nemni is a professor and novelist living in Milan, Italy. Her most recent novel '(Non) si può avere tutto' Mondadori 2015 tells the story of an Italian Orthodox Jewish girl and her challenges in the professional world in Milan.
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