Esor Ben-Sorek

A Planned Escape

The word is out from a very strictly anonymous source which must, of course, remain anonymous. Elsewise it would fail to be from an “anonymous source”.

It is reputed that the TASE (Tel-Aviv Stock Exchange) is rising high by leaps and bounds as the anonymous source is transmitted to other anonymous sources.

The rumor is that funds are being collected (to date, 500,000 Israeli shekels and two million American dollars, plus one million Mexican pesos) to facilitate a “planned escape” from one of our more secure prisons.

But, like a babbling woman’s mouth, money talks.

And the funds are to be distributed, so it is rumored, among several security guards who will facilitate a prison “breakout” by the Rabin assassinator, Yigal Amir, supported by the “guilty ones” who evaded trial and punishment for a planned crime of which they had known in advance but did not prevent.

In a recent “unofficial vote” for the important question “Who is the most hated person in Israel?”. slot #3 went to Sara. Slot #2 went to Binyamin, And 1st place in the ballots went to Yair, the most hated in the Netanyahu clan.

One option would be to transport him across the border in Syria from where he would be flown to Iran and there imprisoned pending the typical Iranian death penalty… beheading. OUCH !!!.

Surely there must be a more humane method. Cutting out a despicable tongue is one method. But then it leaves the accused with ten fingers to hit the keyboard on the computer, sending his hateful, arrogant and ignorant words flying across the globe to be read by both educated and ignorant readers thirsting for news.

A better way, a more humane method, one that would be preferred by thousands or tens of thousands of Israeli citizens, would be castration Lacking the ability which is a gift of normal men to perform any and all relations with a female, he would never be able to marry, never be able to procreate, and to our satisfaction (with the exception of good brother Avner) would mean the end to all future Netanyahus emanating from the seed of a wild son.

“Where did I go wrong”? he would cry in desperation. The reply comes in 3 small words: in being born.

But let us be fair. All Jews must be fair and must place the blame on the source of blame. To blame are, of course mama Sara, then related by her to her weak husband Binyamin, the father of the culprit.

Did either parent chastise the wicked son for his hateful remarks and comments? Did either of them refuse him access to a computer? Did either of them issue a public statement disassociating themselves from what an imbecile son had sent out on the communication waves? Did either mama Sara or daddy Bibi ever issue an apology to the offended readers while at the same time disassociating from their bad boy’s foul behavior?

So what is holding up the process of the “planned escape”? Words seem to have it that four guards on the main gate are not satisfied with the amount they will receive., And while our shekel is rising above the dollar, each of them is demanding a 15% increase to their promised reward in facilitating an end.

A long-awaited end. A necessary end. An end to which our blessings of thanks must be sent to the Judge on High.

In international politics some come in by a ballot and some others, tragically, go out by a bullet.

The latter must never never never (my finger got stuck on the keyboard) be seen again in our beautiful country.

Going out by shame and humiliation is sufficient punishment which cause pain and grief for a lifetime.

Medical specialists declare that the only cure for the pain is remorse. And while it is freely available at all pharmaceutical counters it appears to all of us that the price for Yair Netanyahu to pay is too preposterously high.

Maybe abba Bibi could implore his American cousin to write Yair a check which will cover his costs and can help him to remain un-castrated …. protecting the family jewels.

And what should be done with the funds already collected for the “Planned Escape?”

Give them to Bibi. They may help him to go free following his conviction, arrest and prison life.

Ahh… but there is one hopeful blessing for him. In one way he will be free. Totally free.

Completely free from the demands of the domineering Sara Ben-Artzi Netanyahu Wife # 3.

And who knows? Once free again, there may possibly be a wife #4.

“Shaddai yishmerainu u’matzilainu”… Almighty God, watch over us and save us. Amen.

About the Author
Esor Ben-Sorek is a retired professor of Hebrew, Biblical literature & history of Israel. Conversant in 8 languages: Hebrew, Yiddish, English, French, German, Spanish, Polish & Dutch. Very proud of being an Israeli citizen. A follower of Trumpeldor & Jabotinsky & Begin.
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