Benji Lovitt
Because the Middle East is Funny
Featured Post

A spy dolphin walks into a bar…

Fishing for one-liners after Hamas accused Israel of using a unique intel-gathering method

As reported here, Hamas claims to have captured a dolphin that was spying for Israel. As always, if you’re going to live in the Middle East, it helps to have a sense of humor.

  • After capturing the Israeli spy dolphin, Hamas subjected it to ten hours of waterboarding, until realizing that he liked it.
  • After the capture of the Zionist spy dolphin, the International Red Cross has pressured the Hamas leadership into allowing the animal a phone call to Dr. Doolittle.

dolphin banner

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Bring him home.

  • Following the breaking news of Hamas’s newest hostage, the National Football League is denying reports that a team has changed its name to the Miami Zionist Flipper Spies.
  • SeaWorld’s traveling water show has canceled the Zionist spy dolphin’s performance in Spain until it clarifies its position on Palestinian statehood.

IDF dolphin

Move over, Dr. Dre.

  • Earlier today, Hamas captured an Israeli spy dolphin. After several hours of torture, the Zionist animal had only this to say: “AAAK EEEK SQUEAK!!!!”
  • 5:00 PM The Zionist spy dolphin ate a tuna.
    5:01 PM The UN condemned it for ethnic fish cleansing.
  • Hamas claims to have captured a dolphin that was spying for Israel, Army Radio reported Wednesday. Of course they did. Everyone remembers the episode where Flipper graduated from 8200. Maybe their political and military branches will kill each other arguing about whether it’s a fish or a mammal.
  • The family of the dolphin are beginning to pressure the government to act swiftly. Channel 2 reports that they have set up a solidarity aquarium outside Bibi’s residence.

navy seal

About the Author
Since making aliyah in 2006, Benji Lovitt has performed stand-up comedy and educational programs for groups including Jewish Federations, synagogues, Masa Israel Journey, and Birthright Israel. His perspectives on aliyah and Israeli society have been featured on Israeli TV and radio and in publications such as USA Today, Time Magazine, the BBC, and more. During 2014's Operation Protective Edge, his humorous observations on the war led to his being called in Israel "the only reason to go on Facebook.”
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