About friends, being alone, and the A list we all make

It has been a crazy few weeks for me; therefore you were not lucky enough to read my blog. Fortunately, I have found some time in between my nightmare schedule, and now I’m presenting you my newest post on my still-cool-and-new TOI blog.

Like I said, I had some crazy days in the past few weeks. I have been working a lot to make some extra money before school starts, I had to do some school work, and, above all, I had to maintain my social life, which has been a huge failure lately.
I also had some time to think about stuff I don’t regularly think about. I felt like I’m shutting off every important person in my life, including some really good friends of mine.
I tried to let some new people into my circles, but I just couldn’t. For the past few weeks, I really thought that I had changed.  I thought that I stopped being this person who’s always on a search for new people to meet, for new friends to make. The person who is constantly on a journey to look for new adventures in life. I felt dead on the inside- I literally could not care less about what people think of me, or what my friends wanted from me. All I wanted is peace. Quiet. Some “alone” time with myself, isolated from the rest of the human kind.

After this experience of me living in a bubble which included only myself and I, I can say it, you know what, SHOUT it out loud- I am not that kind of person. I need my friends close to me, like I have always needed them. I do want to meet new people; I do want to make new friends. I want to have new adventures in life; I want to keep seeking for this spot of happiness I deserve.

I also had the opportunity lately, of arguing a lot about the subject of mixed couples. And when I say mixed couple, I refer to a secular guy with a religious girl, or the opposite.
I really had the chance to consider it to be not such a big deal. I thought that if there’s love, loyalty, commitment and care, one can ignore the other’s belief- or lack of belief, and have a healthy and happy relationship with him/ her.
As it turned out to be- you can’t. You can’t ignore the fact that your companion for life doesn’t believe in what you believe in. Moreover, you can’t ignore the fact that he finds it ridiculous and odd and even consider you to be a fool.
Is love really all you need? Can you overcome the gap between both of your believes?
Honestly, it’s a harsh thing to say, but I really don’t think you can. As one must have faith in something, I believe this faith should be your common ground. And if you don’t share the same basis, what are you leaning on?

This past Shabbat, I had the great honor to read a marvelous book called “The Rosie Project”. It tells the story of a 39 years old good looking man, who had decided to go on a journey to find his true love. He called this journey “The wife project”, and he started it by making a list of multiple choices questions putting them all together on a quiz, to see if he can find a suitable girl to be his partner for life.
I’m not about to spoiler you the rest of the story, but as you can understand from the topic, he didn’t find his perfect wife in this girl- moreover; she was everything he didn’t want in his list of qualities for the perfect wife. Honestly, it just made me wonder- are we all programmed to fall in love only with the suitable person for us? What is considered as suitable for us anyway? Is there a special list each and every one of us has to make before we go on and search for our love? Or are we doomed to get the one we had not expected for at all?

I have come to realize that life is not black and white. There are some shades of gray in-between. That what you know, is not necessarily what is true. I have come to understand that if you want something, you won’t always get it.
And it would turn out to be a blessing you didn’t.

About the Author
A student in Bar Ilan university, an israeli who loves English literature. Fashion journalism dreamer, styling adviser, Coco Chanel admirer , Vogue addict. Romance seeker. Before school, used to be a VM in Gap inc.