Adar’s Joy Formula: Stop Chasing Happiness and Start Living It

The Joy Formula: How Adar Teaches Us to Stop Chasing Happiness and Start Living It

Embed from Getty Images

If you have 45 seconds

Every year, as the month of Adar rolls in, David—your average person, always on the hunt for happiness—finds himself puzzled.
People excitedly proclaim, “Mishenichnas Adar marbin b’simcha!” — “When Adar enters, we increase in joy!”

But David turns to me and asks honestly, “What does that even mean? How can I just choose to be happy? Isn’t happiness something that happens to you, not something you create?”

I smiled and told him, “David, happiness might feel like a lottery, but joy? Joy is a craft. And luckily, it’s one that Adar gives us a masterclass in.”

Is Joy Nature or Nurture?

While some may argue that happiness depends on genetics or personality, Judaism takes a bold stance: joy is a mitzvah — a conscious, cultivated state of being.

As the Talmud teaches:
“When Adar enters, we increase in joy” (Ta’anit 29a)

This isn’t just poetic advice; it’s a directive. Joy is not merely an emotion we wait for — it’s an action we build, a muscle we flex, especially in Adar, as we prepare for Purim, a holiday of miraculous turnarounds and profound celebration.

And it’s essential. As the Torah warns:
“Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joy and gladness of heart…” (Deuteronomy 28:47)
Even mitzvot, when performed without joy, fall short of their true power.

The David Strategy

I told David to focus on the simplest gifts — the overlooked miracles we receive daily:

• Waking up.
• Seeing.
• Hearing.
• Walking.
• Talking.

The truth is, millions didn’t receive those gifts this morning. And yet we greet each other with casual shrugs like, “Not too bad.” Imagine answering with, “Fantastic! Thank G-d I woke up today!”

Whether you feel great or not, you’ll feel better when you speak with positivity.

Not just in Adar — but Adar reminds us that joy is always within reach.

If you have another minute

The Joy Toolbox – Practical Tips from the Lubavitcher Rebbe

The Lubavitcher Rebbe taught that joy is an active force that can literally change reality, breaking through the toughest personal and spiritual barriers. He famously quoted:
“U’mitoch simcha yotzim min ha’metzarim” — “Through joy, we break free from all restrictions.”

Here’s what the Rebbe recommended to cultivate joy, especially in Adar:

• Start your day with gratitude, singing Modeh Ani with heart.
• Bring joy to others — visit someone lonely, share a good word.
• Learn uplifting Torah, especially teachings on faith (emunah) and trust (bitachon).
• Dance, literally! The physical act of moving joyfully can unlock the emotional feeling.

And remember: acting happy often leads to feeling happy.
As they say, fake it ‘til you feel it! Or as I like to put it, “Dance like no one’s kvetching.”

What Does Modern Psychology Say?

Remarkably, today’s leading psychologists echo these timeless truths:

• Positive Psychology researcher Martin Seligman identifies the deepest happiness as coming not from fleeting pleasure, but from meaning and purpose.
• Gratitude practices are proven to boost wellbeing — just as our tradition encourages with daily blessings and prayers like Modim Anachnu Lach (“We thank You”).
• Social connection is one of the strongest predictors of happiness. And what is Jewish life if not built on shared moments, community, and togetherness?
• Hedonic adaptation shows that external pleasures fade quickly. Sustainable joy comes from internal growth and meaningful living.

The Final Blast

So here’s your Adar challenge:
Don’t just wait for happiness to find you. Build it. Share it. Dance it. Pray it. Laugh it. And most of all, live it.

Because, as Adar teaches us:
Happiness isn’t a prize you win. Joy is a practice you cultivate.

And besides… if we don’t crank up the simcha now, when will we? After all, Purim is just around the corner, and someone’s got to start the dancing.

Try it. It works.

For more blogs go to https://www.jfc.org.au/blog and for videos go to https://www.youtube.com/@liederrelationshipandparen7760/videos

This publication is proudly Sponsored by David and Shoshana Homami, Los Angeles, in honor of their children, Maya, Ora, Naomi and Elana.