All is fair in Love & War
Summer 2014 was not how I expected it would be. Living in Tel Aviv, you always see the buzz going on around the city, especially around the summer time with all the tourists. Unfortunately, instead of the usual partying and eating out, we had to deal with sirens and running to bomb shelters. Businesses suffered because of the lack of tourists and I suffered, because of the lack of men I could date.
Welcome to the life of LaLa Vak, a new serial dater. Ok, I lie. I am not a serial dater in the slightest but due to being single for nearly a year now, I decided I need to start being serious in my quest for a man. Moving from London to Tel Aviv you learn a lot when it comes to dating. So I have decided to share my wisdom with you all, the things I have learnt whilst dating in both London and Tel Aviv.
Ladies, this one is for you. Here is a list of do’s and dont’s..
1. Bring baggage to the date
By baggage I am talking about insecurities and the dramas of your life. No one wants to hear about all the things that have happened to you, or the last relationship you were in. Guys HATE hearing about your ex. Even if you tell them how bad your ex treated you thinking you are hinting so they will do better..they WON’T.. He is out on a date with you because he likes you, so please don’t turn off his attraction signals by revealing your insecurities for the world to see.
2. Talk too much
It is always drummed into a mans mind that being a good listener will get them in the good books of most women, and for a lot of men, this means they will sit back and let you talk relentlessly without stepping in, purely because it seems like the thing to do. The truth is that the guy wants to talk about himself as much as you do, so ask him thought provoking questions about him and his goals and let him talk.
3. Show signs that you are not relaxed
A guy who is on a date with you wants the real you, not a nervous you that conceals all of your best features. Something to remember when dating men is not to let other singles make you nervous before the date! We have the best times when we relax and enjoy ourselves with people. Don’t over analyse every little detail of the date, and just allow things to unfold naturally. Relaxed, confident women are more attractive in men’s minds, because they are in control of themselves.
4. Spend too long on the date
The date should be short and fun. This keeps it fresh and spontaneous in the early stages, without draining every last bit of life out of the time you have together. Save some for the next date! Leave him wanting more, that’s the key!
5. Drink too much
We all know, that nerves hit before a date. When the waiter comes to your table to ask what drink you would like, usually women will ask for a glass of wine. That is because we know with a bit of vino down us, we warm up and become more lively. Keep it to a two-drink max though. If the date’s so bad you need to drown your sorrows, say goodnight and hop in a cab to meet your friends at another bar.
1. Put your phone on vibrate/silent
Refrain from even putting your phone on the table. When you go out with your friends, it is natural to put your phone in front of you on the table or next to you at the bar, but on a date, keep it hidden. Stop the urge to text or Facebook for a few hours. If you need to consult your phone for any reason, wait until your date steps out of site and put it away once they return.
2. Do prepare yourself for the date
By this, I mean pamper yourself. Especially if it is a first date, you want to look your best. A bit hairy? Have a wax. A bit pale? Have a spray tan. Dirty nails? Have a manicure. These are all basic things we should be doing naturally anyway. Do whatever it is you need to feel better about yourself and give yourself that confident boost. Want to feel sexy? Go any buy some nice lingerie, even if you do not want your date to see it that night, you will feel sexier.
3. Be yourself
There is nothing more sexy than being yourself. If you are a loud, outgoing person, do not try and act shy and innocent as you are worried how you will come across. If you are shy and sweet, do not try and act like a slut to think the guy will like you. Be yourself. If the date does not like you at the end of the night, he was not worth it anyway and there will be more!
4. Have fun
To be honest, when you think about it, you are only hanging out with some one for a few hours. You are not sitting exams or having laser. You are just going to have a nice evening with a date. Let your hair down and lighten up, what is the worst that could happen?